January babies shud dat each other poverty one side
Loading views...
Once Nasrudin woke up at the midnight by scream and quarrel from the next door. He put his blanket on his shoulder and went out. When he returned without the blanket; his wife said,, “what was the mater?” ” The quarrel was about my blanket only they took it and dispute ended!!”
Loading views...
Today morning I was driving my BMW m5 coupe,
alarm wake me up Eish…..D
Loading views...
A teacher ask a boy 1+1,
the boy didn’t say anything ,
the teacher give a boy one fatcake and give another fatcake and ask how many now,the boy answer 2 ,then I take all the fatecakes what do you have ,the boy said just oil mam
Loading views...
Courage is when you call for the attention of aa 16yrs old girl, then you tell her you love her, and u wana date her for a while,( in the hearing of her dad )
Loading views...
My neighbour has started playing Kulungile Baba Since Friday…… I think his daughter has failed Again…..
Loading views...
Quote of de day
.
Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi didnt just wake up and become the best players ,they trained for a long time .so if your wife is so good in bed , my brother i have bad news for u
Loading views...
Prophecies for 2018
If any of these prophecies does not come to pass before the end of the year, then I am not a man of God.
1. There shall be 28 days in the month of February.
2. Any car with an empty tank shall be immobile.
3. If you don’t have any money in your account, you won’t be able to withdraw.
4. Tell any candidate that misses their exams that they won’t have any result.
5. Every woman delivered of just a baby shall have either a boy or a girl.
6. If you don’t subscribe you won’t be able to watch your cable TV.
7. The volume of your urine shall be a function of your water intake.
8. The moment you eat this year, your hunger shall disappear.
9. A new president shall be sworn in in the US.
10. Nollywood shall produce hundreds of meaningless movies this year.
11. There shall be different reactions/responses to these prophetic declarations.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I repeat, if these prophecies do not come to pass, then I am not a man of God!
Loading views...
How to survive January
1) date a taxi driver for free ride to work
2) attend each and every funeral in your hood for a free plate
3) borrow meat from your neighbours and make soup and take it back
4) stay away from broke girls or niggas even he/she is your xondile
5) use one teabags at least 3× before you throw it away
6) use a taxi to work and save petrol
7) mix water with sugar to make a drink
8) try to use prostitutes for sexual needs to avoid imali yekhanda and unnecessary use of money
Loading views...
First year Students at University of Amahlanya la engifunda khona, were receiving their first anatomy class, on the surgery table was a dead cow.
They gathered around the table. The professor started the class by telling them, ” in Veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Vet doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.” For example
, The Professor stuck his finger in the anus of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth – “mhh… low on fibre” he said.
“Go ahead and do the same thing, “He told his students. The student freaked out, hesitant but went ahead and eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking it very disgusted but most murmuring the same conclusion, “yes… low on fibre”.
When everyone had finished, the professor looked at them and said “While I can’t fault you in your methods to diagnose low fibre, the second most important quality of a Vet Doctor is the power of observation, if you had observed carefully, I stuck in my middle finger and sucked my index finger. Now learn to pay attention otherwise you will eat a lot of crap in my class.
Make sure your friends pay attention today
Loading views...
HOW TO MAKE YOU EX FEEL USELESS
AND DESPERATE
1.whenever he/she calls just pick
their call and inform them about
your achievement and never give
them a chance to reconcile,never
abuse them.
2.You should never block them or
unfriend them in facebook,and
always update on your happy
moments and avoid updating on
your miseries.
3.Be close to their friends so that
he/she can feel more jealous.
4.Never call their relatives.
5.whenever you meet them on the
road greet them and wish them well
but never give them much
time,always look jovial.
6.Never be the one calling them.
7.If they try to make advances,say
NO with capital letters and tell
them to mind their own business.
8.Improve on your dressing and
personal appearance,once they see
you they might even commit suicide.
9.Date someone who has achieved
more than him/her and who is more
handsome/beautiful than
them.
Loading views...
One Day A Man Was Driving Fast, And He Got Pulled Over By A Police Officer.
Officer: “What’s Your Excuse For Going Over The Speed Limit?”
Man In Hurry: “I’m Sorry Officer, But It’s A Matter Of Life And Death”
Officer: “What Do You Mean”
Man: “You See Officer, There’s A Woman Waiting For My At My House And I Have To Go To Her”
Officer: “That’s Not A Death Matter”
Man: “It Will Be, If My Wife Gets There First“
Loading views...
A Man Was Going In His Ferrari Suddenly Had An Accident.
The Car Was Totally Wrecked But Some How The Man Was Safe.
Policemen Arrives
Man Cried: “Officer, My Brand New Car.”
Officer: “You Are Such A Materialistic Sir, You Even Haven’t Notice That Your Left Arm Has Been Cut Off.”
Man Looks At His Left Arm And Yells: “Oh My God! My Rolex Watch.“
Loading views...
Dress Code For A Party Is “Black Ties Only“.
Santa Goes For The Party & Is Surprised To See That The Other Guests Are Wearing Suits Also.
Loading views...
Mom : go Wash The Fish That I Brought From The Market
Me : Woah WTF!!!!!
Mom : What That Means
Me : Where’s The Fish
Loading views...
Whether it’s Green, Red or Yellow…
It’ll always be Green Pepper To Me
Loading views...