“Driver I will Pay For Everyone” Is Very Important When
You Enter A Taxi And Find Your Ex Sitting With The New Bae

Iphone: Palesa is typing………
Huawei P30: Palesa is typing a lie

Relationships won’t heal you and being single won’t kill you.
Remember that.

Teacher: Rainbow! I have 10 Beers. I give Patrick 1 Beer. How many left?
Rainbow: Easy! 9.
Teacher: Then I give 1 to Davies. How many left?
Rainbow: Simple! 8.
Teacher: If I Take 1 and give Patrick again?
Rainbow: So You Want to Finish All the Beers Without Giving Me?

Football Rules of our childhood
1-the fat is always the keeper
2-the game ends only if all players are tired (EXCEPT RULE 6)
3-no matter the score, the team that scores the last goal wins the game
4-there is no referee
5-only if it is serious
6-if the owner of the ball gets angry the game is over
7-the 2 best players can’t play on the same team, so everyone chooses their players
8-if you are chosen the last one is a humiliation
9-if there is penalty the keeper is replaced by the best player of his team and says “not for good” to mean that after the penalty, the keeper returns to his post
10-when the ball comes out of the playground to a remote destination, it’s the hitter who’s going to get the ball
11-the best player on the ground is always on the same team as the owner of the ball
12-to start a game we always said “PREE” with our mouths, the game begins”
13-to distinguish teams, a team should play shirtless
14- you kick the ball in the air to start a match
15- Its all massive attack, massive defence
16- Remember the owner of the Ball is FIFA
17- No offside
18-if your Mom calls u , someone can be playing for you and when you return you continue
If you’ve been through this like me, you can also add yours

Looking Left And Right Before Crossing The Road Means
You Don’t Trust God. Just Cross And Go.
God Is Watching!!

Sunday school kids are something else…..
I heard a certain lady asking them,
“Who died and rose from death?”
Their response was; “UNDERTAKER”

If he comes back from work & sits outside for a while.
Sister he’s deleting the messages.
Hurry up & catch him

So Ladies please tell me where does it hurt in your body when you spend your own money??

Gent’s I’m sorry but I think it’s time they Knew Now ……
Ladies , Every guy twerks Naked in front of a mirror when he’s alone

Those days, When your uncle visits and gives you money but your mum takes it afterwards and when you protest she shouts
“shut up have you forgotten I almost died because of you in labor”.

Just met someone and we exchanged numbers,
Within 20 minutes she sent me a text saying
“baby I can’t live without you

Love used to be blind but now
it has received its treatment.
Now it looks at u, ur pocket, ur family &
social status & even ur bank account balance too.

If you think somebody is giving you a fake numbers,
read it back to them incorrectly. See if they’ll correct you.

When i Call My Parents And They Don’t Answer it’s No Big DEAL ✋😓 , But When They Call Me And i Don’t Answer it’s Like WORLD WAR III

Today, I met my ex and she was kissing her new boyfriend in front of a store, I was watching them and she saw me then she asked me what I was doing there. I told her my wife is pregnant and I am here to buy baby stuffs and I am very very happy. I spoke as if they asked me that.

I proceeded in as she was looking at me, I bought 3 buckets, a baby seat and a baby bed with sponge with soaps then I chattered a taxi and left. She and her boyfriend were looking at me and I felt they envied me sooo much.

Now, my issue is, if you know any woman who has given birth, I am selling buckets, baby seat, soaps and sponge. I am around Boksburg, Commissioner street