“Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?” Pastor replied, “No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal”.The man answered” “Pastor, but do you think they will accept a donation of $250,000 in return for the burial service?” Pastor exclaimed, “Sweet Jesus! Why didn’t u tell me that dog was a Christian.”

A blind man went to a restaurant.
“Menu sir?” Asked the owner.
“I’m blind. Just bring me one of your dirty
forks.. I will smell it &
order.”
The confused owner got a fork. The blind
man smelt the fork with a deep breath. “Yes,
I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes
and spring vegetables.
“Unbelievable!” thought the owner.
The blind man ate and left. 2 weeks later the
blind man returned.
The owner, wanting to see how good his
smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where
his wife Brenda was cooking.
He said, “Do me a favor and rub this fork
over your private part!”, which she does!
He then goes to the blind man and gives him
the fork. The blind man takes it, puts it to his
nose and says “Oh interesting…, I never
knew Brenda worked here!”
Owner fainted.

Nobody drinks alcohol
faster than someone who
didn’t contribute

Man to pretty girl in a party.
.
MAN: I couldn’t find my wife here, can you
please talk to me for a while?
.
GIRL: Why?
.
MAN: because everytime I talk to any girl,
my wife just appears out of nowhere

A man was watching a movie at home, and
suddenly shoutsNoooooooooooooooo!!!!
Don’t go inside the church!!!Its a trap!!!!
His wife confused, asks him “what are you
watching?”He answered “our wedding
DVD”

I have noticed that most churches ⛪ are fighting against Satan 😈
.
But there’s one church that decided to fight against pigs

There is nothing that scares me like when
I am borrowing someone my phone
he/she goes to chrome and start typing Por…
I am just afraid of those suggestions that will come up…

Our generation never had babysitters our parents just told us to lock 🔒
the door n never open for anyone

Real men will put their clothes on first
then put lotion on the remaining visible
parts.

A husband was sitting on a sofa next to
his wife who was eating and typing on her
fone.
He heard his phone’s message tone
coming from the kitchen from where he
was charging it . He went to the kitchen
and read a message from his wife saying
“Please bring the salt on your way back.”

I Only Post Jokes For my Crush I wonder Why Others Are Laughing 👉

1st patient: doctor iqolo lami is very painful. I came home early today, i could swear i heard a man’s voice 4m my house bt wen i entered it was only my wife. I searchd evrywher bt saw nothing. When i went to the balcony i saw a man downstairs ephuma eflatini runing very fast and stil dresing up! I took the fridge and threw it at him and i hurt my back. 20 mins later 2nd patient came with bruises all over his head: Doc, i was very late for an interview. I left the flat runing and stil butoning my trousers coz i was late when a fridge 4m nowhere hit me on the head, thats how i got to be like this. 15 mins later 3rd patient came in, with severe bruises all over his body, worse than the 1st patient: Doc, i was sitting in a fridge when someone threw it 4m da balcony from 5th floor, thats how i got hurt…

Ladies,pls upload the pictures of your sugar daddies,
am looking for my grandpa for the past 2 days now..
Pls release him Valentine is over.

Stop posting your problems on Facebook and start drinking alcohol
like the rest of us