*_What is a wedding?_*
*A wedding is a gathering of people
where two people are thinking of sex and
the rest of the people are thinking of food*
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When buying Christmas presents for
Papa/ Prophet/ Spiritual Fathers &
Mothers , don’t forget to buy for your
biological parents… Yes, they may not
speak in tongues but they deserve
your honour and respect..
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No one takes their job
more serious than security guards
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Santa At Railway Station To Other People: “Did Anyone Lose Money Wrapped In A Rubber Band?”
One Said: “Yes I Did”
Santa: “Well, It’s Your Lucky Day, I Found The Rubberband“
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The Woman Who Invented The Phrase
“All Men Are The Same”
Was A Chinese Woman Who Lost Her Husband
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During last 5 minutes of examination
every student gets a super natural power.
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Not only do I sing in the shower,
but I also dance. Jealous?
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Sometimes I reduce my Sis’s phone brightness to Zero,
and tell her she needs $10 to buy a new screen bulb…
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WHY MEN ARE SO HONEST*
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river’.
When he cried out, the Angel appeared & asked, *”Why are you crying?”*
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water & he needed it to make a living.
The Angel went down into the water & reappeared with a *Golden Axe*. “Is this your axe?” the Angel asked. The woodcutter replied: *”No.”*
The Angel again went down & came up with a *Silver Axe.* “Is this your axe?” the Angel asked. Again, the woodcutter replied: *”No.”*
The Angel went down again & came up with an *Iron Axe*. “Is this your axe?” the Angel asked. The woodcutter replied: *”Yes.”*
The Angel was pleased with the man’s honesty & gave him all 3 Axes to keep, & the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, & his wife fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Angel again appeared & asked him: “Why are you crying?”
*”Oh, my wife has fallen into the water!”*
The Angel went down into the water & came up with *Pamela Anderson*
“Is this your wife?” the Angel asked. *”Yes,”* cried the woodcutter.
The Angel was furious. *”You lied!* That is an untruth!” The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said *’NO’* to *Pamela* , you would have come up with *Angelina Jolie *. Then if I said *’NO’* to her, you would have come up with *MY WIFE*. Had I then said *’YES,’ you would have given me all 3.*
I’m a poor man, & not able to take care of 3 wives, so *THAT’S why I said YES to Pamela .”*
The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a *good & honorable reason & for the benefit of others.*
That’s our story, &
we’re sticking to it!
*MEN ARE TRULY HONORABLE!* HAVE A SWEET DAY
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I am inviting you my fellow friends and relatives to our
END OF YEAR PARTY
All drinks and food for free
Date :- 23th December, 2017
.
Time: – 17hrs till late..
.
Dress code smart casual.
.
Venue: – 世界上有太多的人在挨饿。
.
Make sure you don’t miss it! Thank you in advance
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During childbirth…the pain is so intense that a woman
almost feels,
the same pain
men feel when they are told, “I love you as a friend”.
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WE ARE EXPERIENCING HIGHER THAN NORMAL ASS EATING VOLUMES,
PLEASE REMAIN EATING ASS.
YOUR ASS WILL BE EATEN IN THE ORDER IN WHICH IT WAS EATEN IN
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Enough about jokes on *wives*. Now somethng for *husband*…😉
A new metal is added to *chemistry*:
• Name – *Husband*
• Symbol – *Hb*
• Atomic weight:
– Light when found
first
– Tends to get heavier
over the years with
time
• Physical properties:
– Boils at any time
with inlaws
– Can freeze in front
of his own family
– Melts if sees other
women
– Very bitter if
questioned
• Chemical properties:
– Very reactive
– Highly unstable
– Possesses strong
resistance to gold,
silver, diamond,
platinum, credit
cards and cheque
books
– Money saving agent
• Occurrence:
– Mostly found in
front of TV, Laptop & Mobile.
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Someone somewhere In Mzansi is
pregnant and scared to go home for Christmas..
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December visitors never leave
until the fridge is completely empty
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May Your Xmas be free from Quagmile..Let it be Adoriferous, full of rampant cockistocracy, aggravated by the vitality of perambolity with the plumage of decapitation so that the new year will be congruental in as far as the mototiplity is concerned..
.
I hope English was compulsory at your school…
Good day
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