Ngoni:* How are you dear?
*Mary:* I’m fine thanks!
*Ngoni:* So what’s your favorite color?
*Mary:* Ohh please, stop asking stupid questions! Ask me something more interesting and intellectual please.
*Ngoni:* Ooh, how many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of Sulfuric Acid at standard temperature and pressure?
*Mary:* Eeer bemgizidlalela mina; my favorite colour is dark white!
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*To all real men out there you should please note*
Next year We Dating Girls With Real Eyebrows..
The Drawers Will Draw Their Own Boyfriends.
Happy 2018
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So you go to your girlfriends place
without notice and find another guy ,
Then you get hurt,
But my brother the bible says
only Jesus will come like a thief without notice,
you are not Jesus, stop being emotional.
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10 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY:
1. Give him sex
2. Obey him.
3. Love his parents.
4. Respect his siblings.
5. Never argue with him.
6. Always make him feel he’s the superior. 7. Never investigate his phone.
8. Kiss him when he insults you.
9. Don’t waste his property.
10. Support him when he’s broke.
10 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR WIFE HAPPY:
1. Give her money.
2. Always give her money.
3. Continue to give her money.
4. Keep giving her money.
5. Never get tired of giving her money.
6. Give her money even before she asks.
7. Just continue to give her money.
8. Just keep giving her money.
9. Just never get tired of giving her money.
10. Just give her money even before she asks.
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After church on Sunday, Skebhe’s wife saw her husband sitting quietly at the sitting room. She got concerned and decided to ask him, “Darling, why are you sitting so quiet?
What is it that is bothering you?”
Skebhe replied, “I’m still thinking about what the pastor said.
It’s making me uncomfortable.”
His wife asked, ”What is it?”
He replied, ”The pastor confessed he slept with all married and single women in the church but only one woman didn’t want to sleep with him.”
The wife replied, “It must be that Mrs LUKHELE. She thinks she is better than everyone!”
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China had invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it out to different countries for a test.
In US, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;
UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves;
Spain, in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves;
Swaziland, in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves;
Zimbabwe in 7 minutes it caught 20,000 thieves;
South Africa, in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.
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I saved my Girl’s contact
with her real name on my
phone book but usually when i
pick her call i say “HI LOVE”….
.
So yesterday, i ran out of air time
while talking to her, so i had to
use my friend’s phone to call her
without he notice, when i dialed
her number on his phone, it
displayed “MY LOVE”. . . So i was
wondering how that
smartphone knew i was calling
her.
.
Samsung Smart phones are really smart shame!!!!
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Skebhe and his two friends attended a party and got themselves drunk……On there way home they chatted a cab(taxi).When they entered, they told the driver there destination..The driver noticing that they were drunk started his car and turned it off..He turned and told them that have arrived at their destination……they paid the taxi driver his money,, and he was happy that his plan worked… to his grtest surprise while Skebhe was coming down he gave him a sound slap….the driver thought that Skebhe knew what he did but decided to ask Skebhe why the slap and Skebhe answerd “you were too fast YOU ALMOST KILLED US“`
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A South African teacher was sent to
China to
teach….
The first day he entered the class
and was Register roll
calling,
He called out name, “Sheng”, a
student stood up
and answered “present sir”.
He called the second name ” chung young”
, another
student answered “present sir”.
Suddenly he sneezed “hatchia”.
One student
seated
at the corner stoop up and said,
“present sir”.
He surprisingly exclaimed,
mmmhh”. All the
students shouted “absent sir”.
At this moment, he got confused
and said,
“hhaai bo!!”. Three students
immediately stood up and
said,
“which of us sir”.
The teacher became even more
confused and
asked, “what is wrong”??
A student stood up and
answered,” sir, I am not
wrong. I am called Wong ” Now
the teacher
could not help it but laughed
out”
hahaha…… A girl stood up and
answered,
“present
sir”
The tea
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In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunk, with a ragged, dirty looking (Skebhe) came to apply for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.
They tested him. Skebhe was given a glass with a drink.
He tried it and said, “It’s red wine, a Muscat, three years old, grown on a western of the Cape slope, matured in steel containers.”
“Correct,” said the boss, Another glass.
“It’s red wine, cabernet, eight years old,a western slope, oak barrels.”
“Correct.” The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She brought in a glass of urine.
Skebhe The alcoholic tried it.
“It’s a Nguni girl (Zulu,Swazi or Xhosa) 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the work office. And if you don’t give me the job, I’ll also tell who the father is.”
The director collapsed.
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A Teacher (Mr Gumede) was teaching opposite
words and pointed to Tinklas to stand
up and answer some Questions.
Teacher:What is the opposite of
Good?”
Tinklas:Bad
Teacher:Come?
Tinklas:Go
Teacher:Ugly?
Tinklas:Sexy
Teacher:You’re wrong!
Tinklas:You’re Right
Teacher:Shut up!
Tinklas:Keep talking
Teacher:Ok,now stop!
Tinklas:Ok,then carry on
Teacher:Get out of my class!
Tinklas:Come in my class
Teacher:Oh my God!
Tinklas:Oh my devil
Teacher:You have failed!
Tinklas:I have passed..
Did Tinklas Pass or Fail ?
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Never look back unless there’s an
attractive stranger behind you!
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During my Teenage years,
Girls of my age would tell me that
I am young and that they will shake me..
Where you all at?
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A black goat went to pick an egg from a black pot
and the black pot stuck to its head
crowning him the black prince of thiefs
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A dog chase A cock And it croAse And
the dog croAse kokoko thAt mAke it
the first dog to croAse
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As the year comes to an end,
I urge you to take care of yourself
and avoid accidents because
spare parts for old models like you
are no longer in stock.
forward to other old models you care about.
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