People usually complain about their look,
but no one complains about their brains.

Dear ladies …

Open the gifts not your legs. It’s Christmas not sexmas…

A Prospective Husband Goes In A Book Store For Purchase A Strange Book.

He Sees A Sales Girl There & Then He Walk To Her.

Husband: “Do You Have A Book Called “Husband – The Master Of The House?”

Sales Girl: “Sir, Fiction And Comics Are On The 1st Floor.“

A Man Who Is Driving A Car Is Stopped By A Police Officer.

The Officer: “You Were Going At Least 75 In A 55 Zone”

Man: “No Sir, I Was Going 60”

Wife: “Oh Johnny, You Were Going 80”

Officer: “I’m Also Going To Give You A Ticket For Your Broken Tail Light”

Man: “Broken Tail Light? I Didn’t Know About A Broken Tail Light!”

Wife: “Oh Johnny, You’ve Known About That Tail Light For Weeks”

Officer: “I’m Also Going To Give You A Citation For Not Wearing Your Seat Belt”

Man: “Oh, I Just Took It Off When You Were Walking Up To The Car”

Wife: “Oh, Johnny, You Never Wear Your Seat Belt”

Man Turns To His Wife And Yells: “Shut Your Damn Mouth Bitch”

Officer Turns To The Woman And Asks: “Mam, Does Your Husband Talk To You This Way All The Time?”

Wife: “No, Only When He’s Drunk

Boss: “We Are Very Keen On Cleanliness. Did You Wipe Your Feets On The Mat As You Came In?”

New Employee: “Yes, Sir”

Boss: “We Are Also Keen On Truthfulness. There Is No Mat“

Banta Asked To Santa.

Banta: “When You Kiss Your Wife?”

Santa: “I Kiss My Wife Before I Go To Office Every Day And You?”

Banta: “I Kiss Your Wife After You Go To Office Everyday”…

Santa: “Ha Ha Ha, I Am First“

A Father Passing By His Teenage Daughter’s Bedroom Was Astonished To See The Bed Was Nicely Made And Everything Was Neat And Tidy.

Then He Saw An Envelope Propped Up Prominently On The Center Of The Pillow.

It Was Addressed”Dad”. With The Worst Premonition, He Opened The Envelope And Read The Letter With Trembling Hands:

Dear Dad,

It Is With Great Regret And Sorrow That I’m Writing You, But I’m Leaving Home.

I Had To Elope With My New Boyfriend Randy Because I Wanted To Avoid A Scene With Mom And You.

I’ve Been Finding Real Passion With Randy And He Is So Nice To Me.

I Know When You Meet Him You’ll Like Him Too – Even With All His Piercings, Tattoos, And Motorcycle Clothes.

But It’s Not Only The Passion Dad, I’m Pregnant And Randy Said That He Wants Me To Have The Kid And That We Can Be Very Happy Together.

Even Though Randy Is Much Older Than Me (Anyway, 42 Isn’t So Old These Days Is It?), And Has No Money, Really These Things Shouldn’t Stand In The Way Of Our Relationship,

Don’t You Agree?

Randy Has A Great Cd Collection; He Already Owns A Trailer In The Woods And Has A Stack Of Firewood For The Whole Winter.

It’s True He Has Other Girlfriends As Well But I Know He’ll Be Faithful To Me In His Own Way.

He Wants To Have Many More Children With Me And That’s Now One Of My Dreams Too.

Randy Taught Me That Marijuana Doesn’t Really Hurt Anyone And He’ll Be Growing It For Us And We’ll Trade It With Our Friends For All The Cocaine And Ecstasy We Want.

In The Meantime, We’ll Pray That Science Will Find A Cure For Aids So Randy Can Get Better; He Sure Deserves It!!

Your Loving Daughter,

Rosie.

PS: Dad, None Of The Above Is True.

I’m Over At The Neighbor’s House.

I Just Wanted To Remind You That There Are Worse Things In Life Than My Report Card That’s In My Desk Drawer.

Please Sign It And Call When It Is Safe For Me To Come Home.

I Love You Dad

There is no girl who ferbs like a girl who stays with her grandmother…

Drink alcohol , but please remember that next year ” SAME GRADE different Year

Teacher : ” Simon, can you say your name backwards?” 🤔
.
Simon : “No Mis

I told my doctor that I broke my arm into two places
then he told me to stop going to those places again!!!