TEACHER: TODAY’S TOPIC IS NUTRITION.
.
TEACHER : What is Nutrition class?
TUMELO: Nutrition is our topic today
TEACHER : How can we keep our school clean?
TUMELO: By staying at home .
TEACHER : What do you call mosquitoes in your
language?
TUMELO: We don’t call them, they come on their own.
(teacher faint)
TEACHER : Name the nation people hate most
TUMELO: Exami-nation (teacher fainted)
TEACHER : One day our country will be corruption free.
what tense
is that??
TUMELO: Future impossible tense
TEACHER : What do we call a small Lizard in
English??
TUMELO: Lizzy baby (Teacher faint)
TEACHER : John is climbing a tree to pick some
mangoes. ( Write and begin with Mangoes)
TUMELO: Mangoes, John is coming to pick you.
TEACHER: What do we call a male duck in English??
TUMELO: Mr Duck
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Little Johnny’s teacher noticed that he was sporting a black eye. She asked him what happened, and he replied, “Ma’am, you remember I told you how I sleep on the floor next to my parent’s bed? Well, last night, my dad asked me if I was still awake, I said yes and then he punched me in the face.”
“Ok, Johnny”, the teacher said, trying to help, ” the next time your dad asks you if you’re still awak…
e, don’t answer, just lay still and pretend to be asleep.”
All went well, until a few weeks later, Little Johnny came to class with another black eye. The teacher asked him why he didn’t follow her advice.
Johnny explained, “Ma’am, I tried to, when dad asked me if I was awake, I kept quiet and lay really still, and pretended to be asleep, but then Dad said ‘I’m coming’, and Mom said ‘I’m coming too’, and I didn’t want them to go anywhere without me, so I shouted, ‘Let me just put on my slippers, I’m coming too’ and that’s when I got punched in the face

Husband:I heard our neighbour slept with all the women in this block except one and I wonder who she is?
•
Wife:Maybe its Mamfundisi down the road,that woman is stubborn..

What Is The Difference Between Men And Women?

1. A Successful Man Is One Who Makes More Money Than His Wife Can Spend. A Successful Woman Is One Who Can Find Such A Man.

2. Men Wake Up As Good-Looking As When They Went To Bed. Women Somehow Deteriorate During The Night.

3. A Man Will Pay $2 For A $1 Item He Wants. A Woman Will Pay $1 For A $2 Item That She Doesn’t Want.

4. A Woman Marries A Man Expecting He Will Change, But He Doesn’t. A Man Marries A Woman Expecting That She Won’t Change, And She Does.

5. There Are Two Times When A Man Doesn’t Understand A Woman Before And After Marriage.

6. A Woman Worries About The Future Until She Gets A Husband. A Man Never Worries About The Future Until He Gets A Wife.

7. To Be Happy With A Man, You Must Understand Him A Lot And Love Him A Little. To Be Happy With A Woman, You Must Love Her A Lot And Not Try To Understand Her At All.

8. Any Married Man Should Forget His Mistakes. There’s No Use In Two People Remembering The Same Thing!

9. A Woman Has The Last Word In Any Argument. Anything A Man Says After That Is The Beginning Of A New Argument.

10. Women Look At A Wedding As The Beginning Of Romance, While Men Look Aat A Wedding As The Ending Of Romance.

Suppose You Lost Your Pen?

Lost Your Pen – No Pen

No Pen – No Notes

No Notes – No Study

No Study – Fail

Fail – No Diploma

No Diploma – No Work

No Work – No Money

No Money – No Food

No Food – Skinny

Skinny – Ugly

Ugly – No Lover

No Lover – No Marriage

No Marriage – No Children

No Children – Alone

Alone – Depression

Depression – Sickness

Sickness – Death

Moral: So Never Lose Your Pen

Two Boys Were Arguing When The Teacher Entered The Classroom.

Teacher: “Why Are You Arguing?”

A Boy: “Miss, We Found A 100 Dollar Note And Decided To Give It To Whoever Tells The Biggest Lie.”

Teacher: “You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourselves, When I Was Your Age I Didn’t Even Know What A Lie Was.”

The Boys Gave The 100 Dollar To The Teacher.

Can’t Wait To Have Twins And
Name Them Finish & Klaar

Wives why do yu go after girlfriends/small houses?……..
Go after your husband.
*Wives*: its operation restore legacy…..
we go after the criminals around him

*I intentionally put my grandma’s phone on silent mode then I told her the ring tone is finished…
She gave me money today to buy another ringtone…*

PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND I’M CONFUSED…THURSDAY IS NOVEMBER…FRIDAY IS DECEMBER…DOES IT MEAN SATURDAY IS JANUARY?

*Who Yr Wife is ….*
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
1. Your wife is not perfect, forgive her.
2. Your wife is the bone of your bone, do not break her.
3. Your wife is a gift, appreciate her.
4. Your wife is a rare gem, guide her jealously.
5. Your wife is your best friend, be friendly with her.
6. Your wife is your joy, nourish her.
7. Your wife is to be cherished, be cheerful to her.
8. Your wife is your portion, cherish her.
9. Your wife is not a devil, don’t dump her.
10. Your wife is not only good for sex, carry her along in every issue.
Love Is The Greatest
11. Your wife is not your enemy, encourage her.
12. Your wife is not a family material, never commit her unto the hand of your family members.
13. Your wife is not your rival, don’t compete with her.
14. Your wife is a female gender, honor her.
15. Your wife is not common, don’t compare her.
16. Your wife is not a wash hand base, stop abusing her.
17. Your wife is a weaker vessel, handle her with care.
18. Your wife is a beautiful queen, celebrate her.
19. Your wife is not a fighter, don’t fight her.
20. Your wife is not a punching bag, don’t beat her.
21. Your wife is not a game, don’t play her.
22. Your wife need foreplay, don’t rape her.
23. Your wife is a hook, get hook to her.
24. Your wife is all you love, praise her.
25. Your wife is important, honor her.
26. Your wife is what u make her to be, accept her.
27. Your wife is your joy, pursue her.
28. Your wife needs your honor, never embarrass her in the public.
29. Your wife is not a knife, be nice to her.
30. Your wife is a distinct personality, never compare her to any work.
31. Your wife is loyal, don’t be suspicious of her.
32. Your wife is not a fool, listen to her advice.
33. Your wife is not malicious, do not keep malice with her.
34. Your wife is the best friend you can have, befriend her.
35. Your wife is not a napkin, do not misuse her.
36. Your wife is not your house girl, support her in the kitchen.
37. Your wife is passionate, do not by- pass her.
38. Your wife is very important to you, do not abandon her.
39. Your wife is a queen, do not quarrel with her.
40. Your wife is not the only owner of the sit, help her to baby sit.
41. Your wife is reasonable, do not under- rate her.
42. Your wife is your responsibility, provide for her.
43. Your wife is yourself, do not separate her bed.
44. Your wife is number one in your life, priorities her
45. Your wife is your treasure, jealously guide her.
46. Your wife need your help, help her.
47. Your wife need your full attention, do not give it to T.V set.
48. Your wife is valuable, add more value to her.
49. Your wife is your crown, do not abandon her.
50. You will account to God about your wife, handle her with care. She may be or seem fragile, but is strong.
God bless our wives, mothers& daughters.

A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.
-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.
Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.
The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.
The client went into his room, he didn’t ask for food or anything else.
Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.
After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client’s room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.
The boss didn’t sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.
In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.
He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.
The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.
The boss was in a shock but he didn’t reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.
After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.
The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 79g.
This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.
Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn’t leave his face.
The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knife??? In fact, the boss didn’t arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.
The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.
To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.
The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.
In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.
-”If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?”
-”I promise I will never let anyone know”.
-”Swear”
-”I swear I won’t reveal your secret”
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.
Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Until now he hasn’t revealed his secret to anyone.
When he does, I will let you know… thank you for reading.
Do you want to come and beat me?

MY BEST FRIEND
—————————
Before the King went to war, he locked his wife (the beautiful Queen ), in the room & gave the key to his best friend & said:
“If I am not back within 4 days, open the room and she is yours”….
He sat on his horse & hit the road.
Half an hour later, the king noticed a dust cloud & sound behind him.
He stopped & saw his friend riding very fast towards him.
“What’s wrong ?” the King asked.
Out of breath, his friend answered,
“It’s the wrong Key…!! ”
😆🙆‍♂😂😹😝😎
Please beware of the one, whom you call your best friend.