Nxa This Morning My Girlfriend Was So Sick So That I Had To Carry Her To The Kitchen To Make A Breakfast For Me…
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Get well soon my love..
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Next Month im getting married
With or without a Wife.
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A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said: “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it’s different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”
Said the counsellor: “Why complain. You are still getting the same service.
*In the corporate world they call it…..*
*Job Rotation*!”
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Difference between talent and God’s gift:
A Teacher can give lecture for 2 hrs on any subject.
-This is talent.
A wife can give lecture for 2 hrs without any subject.
-This is God’s gift.
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Which Of These Sentence Gave You A Great Joy When You Were In School?
1. Go Out For Break
2. Test Is Cancelled
3. Take A Sheet Of Paper
4. Answer Only One Question
5. Go Back Home There Is No School
6. The Mathematics Teacher Is Sick
7. If You Know You Owe School Fees, Walk Out.
Just indicate with number only.
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The Hardest Thing To Do Is Leaving Your House
While Your Phone Is On 3%
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Your slippers and G-Strings at my place won’t shake me
Leave your Qualifications,
Payslips and car keys
Give me a challenge Boo…
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Last night i got HIV(Heavy Into Vodka) and this morning i woke up with TB(Taste of Beer) this means i have AIDS(Alcohol In De System) so now i have decided to take ARV(Another Round of Vodka)
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*some of you here are so quiet
yet we are all made from unprotected Sex
stop acting special… Just say hi
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Husband was sipping his whisky, while sitting in the balcony with wife.
He says,
“I love you so much, I don’t know how I could ever live without you.”
Wife asks, “Is that you, or the whisky talking?”
Husband replies, “It’s me… talking to whisky.”
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If God is a Police Officer
How many times would you have been fined or arrested
for parking your life wrongly? Over loading with Lusts and Pleasures of the world? Not carrying the Fire Extinguisher always (Bible)? Over Speeding (Going Ahead of God’s Plans)? Driving without a License (Holy Spirit)? Not observing Traffic Lights (commandments)? And forgetting to put on your Safety Belt (Prayer)? Think about it…. SPREAD THE GOSPEL
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A husband and wife noticed that their little boy’s penis was a little too small so they took him to the doctor. They expressed their concerns to the doctor. The doctor said to feed the little boy lots of toast. The next morning, the wife gets up really early and makes a huge stack of toast. When the little boy comes down to breakfast, the mother says,’ Take the top two slices. The rest are for your father.
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A MARRIED COUPLE IN THEIR
BEDROOm THE WIFE IS BUSY
SINGING.
Husband: You know my wife
when
you sing like that I just wish you
were on radio.
Wife: (smiling): wow Love . Am I
that good?
Husband: No, at least on a
radio I
can change the station…..
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In Mzansi When a lady enters a guy’s room and
about 9mins time u hear loud music
Then u know things are getting better
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A Pastor found a baboon that could talk. So he taught it how to sing, pray and preach.
At one Sunday service, the Pastor said to the congregation,
“The Baboon is going to pray today.”
The Baboon sat still and the Pastor repeated over and over again “The Baboon is going to pray today”, but the Baboon did not respond.
After the service pastor asked the Baboon, “Why didn’t you want to pray when I asked you to?” and the Baboon answered, “Was it necessary to call me Baboon? Everybody here is referred to as Brother irrespective of their status in life. You could have at least said Brother Babs!” 😂😂😂😃😃Everyone deserve little R*E*S*P*E*C*T
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My Ex works in a pharmacy,
so whenever I want to spoil her mood
I just go there and buy condom for no reason
sometimes I go 3 times a day
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