No machine cleans a room faster than a Guy expecting a girl

Heineken=R20
Brick=R3

Someone is going to drink 8 rooms in December

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

IF you call him and he is eating don’t disturb him girl just hangup.
Don’t make him choose between you and food

I Don’t Give A Fvck Whether Your Bio Is Written “Taken”…
I’ll Assume That’s Your Favourite Movie.

GUY: Babe I really want you to be mine
.
Girl: Lol! I have a boyfriend sorry.
.
Guy: Goalposts have keeper but strikers
always score.
.
Girl: Lol! You look like a defender in this one
then.
.
Guy: Sergio Ramos is a defender but he has
scored in 2 champions league finals.
.
Girl: Whatever Dude! Besides my
boyfriend is tall and rich!.
.
Guy: Manuel Neuer is 6’4 but Messi still
chipped Him.
.
Girl: Lol! But you know that Messi is richer than
Manuel Neuer right?
.
Guy: Sure I know but Messi isn’t taller dan
him, so that is 1 – 1
and that was all Barcelona needed to oust
Chelsea and move on to win the champions league that year. So?
.
Girl: You never give up do you?
.
Guy: Ac milan were leading 3nil in first half against liverpool in 2005 cl final, yet Liverpool won the trophy.
.
Girl: Lol! This your knowledge of football will
really take you places.
.
Guy: Lol, surely will and the next destination
is your heart.
.
Girl: Don’t even try it I will just block you
.
Guy: In 2006 Petr Cech tried blocking
Stephen Hunt from scoring, Cech ended up hurting Himself.
.
Girl: Loool! you are a genius, call me I’ll be free
this weekend!!!.
Anything is possible with Football
😂😂😂

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”
When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
“JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question.
“What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!”
The Teacher fainted.

If ur wife cheats on you..my brother dont beat her,never sent her packing,dont argue with her… just make a big portrait photo of the guy she cheated with…and put it in ur living room,so that everytime visitors ask who the guy is::: you tell your wife to explain to them

Gone are the Days when Men used to Ask for Nudes
nowadays Ladies post them daily like a Motivational Quotes.

Good for us bachelors !!!
While those with gal friends are busy with flowers like they love bees.

Don’t be a boring
boyfriend my brother
Sometimes take her
phone and delete all
male contacts and
wait for a fight

That One ToothBrush All Your Girlfriends Use
When They come for A Sleep Over &
Each One Of Them Think Its Only Her Who Use It

Boss: Where were u born?
Frank: Malawi
Boss: ok, which part?
Frank: what do you mean by ’which part’? …
the Whole body was born in Malawi

“visit my wall” and “add me close”

Which Other Strategy Of Bitchies Do You Know ?

What baffles me the most in church⛪ is seeing ladies👩 fainting letf,
right & centre but still remember to close their legs