If your boyfriend/hubby has no beards…….

Sis you are dating an emoji

Marrying a lady aged above 30yrs old is like buying a newspaper in the evening!

If I say you’re beautiful don’t say
“Really?”
Coz I can’t lie twice.

APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER.

FILL THE FORM IN YOUR OWN HAND WRITTING AND IN BLOCK LETTERS.

I, _____ , hereby apply to marry your beautiful daughter Sir. I am ___ years old.

Please answer the following questions honestly.

1. Do you go to church/mosque? Yes/No
2. Do you have a degree or diploma? Yes/No.
3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No.
4. Are you working? Yes/No.
5. Do you have a car? Yes/No.

If your answer to any of the above questions is NO, do not continue & quietly leave my house. Don’t look back as you walk out. If all your answers were YES, then you may continue.

1. In 50 words or more, describe the disadvantages of cheating in marriage.___________
2. With the aid of a diagram, explain how you can give respect to your father/mother in-law.
3. Suppose your wife says, “honey, I need money for my hair at the saloon”, what would be yo answer?______
4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce.
______________
5. What does the term ‘good husband’ mean to you? _____ _________
6. Do you have both yo mum & dad? Yes/No. If No, explain why?
7. Were your parents legally married? Yes/No. If YES, for how long? If the time of their marriage is less than your age, explain why you were born out of wedlock.
8. Explain the meaning of ”COME HOME EARLY” as used by married women. (100 words)
9. Give any THREE reasons that can cause a man to sleep outside his house.
10. In case of divorce, who do you think is the owner of the kids between father and mother?

Answer the following by Yes or No.
1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No.
2. Do you smoke? Yes/No.
3. Are you short-tempered? Yes/No.

LAST PART, BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT.

1. When can you be free for interviews?
________
2. When can be the best time to interview
your dad?_______
3. When can I interview your mum?
________
4. When can I interview your church pastor/mosque imam
5. Please stick your passport size photo below, which will be put in all the daily newspapers for 1 week to cross-check if you have other girlfriends or on wanted list by Victim Support Unit, Zambia Police or other law enforcement agencies.

Sign here: _____
Sign again: ____

Thank you for showing interest in my daughter. Your application will be processed in 1 year and six months time. You will be acknowledged only if you emerge successful.

As you wait for my response, please don’t call me, or visit me, or contact my daughter, you will be disqualified automatically. Leave your details below in case I need to ask you more questions.

Postal Address: ________
________
Email: _______
Phone: ________
Facebook name: _______

*I think 🤔we have to start removing some people from this App,
especially those who can’t: reed, spale, or spick gud Engilis

Relationships Are Not For Everyone,
Some Of You Should Just Stick To Alcohol

A mad person stole a mobile phone from a shop. He was caught but the owner of the shop decided to let him keep it, after all a mad person wouldn’t know how to operate the complicated handset. But something funny happened as the mad man pressed the phone, it didn’t respond, so he continued pressing and pressing and pressing… *Read more*

W A R N I N G
.
Please share this important warning with all your circles if you truly care.
.
Drinking and driving is extremely dangerous. Last night evening, a friend of mine while drinking and driving, put his arm out of the window to indicate that he was turning right and someone grabbed his beer and ran away

A policeman👮 stops two drunks and asks one: “where do you live?”😕
“Nowhere”😐 replied the first drunkard.

“And where do you live”?😑 he asks the other one.
The second drunk replied: “We’re neighbours”.

My future wife💍 is not allowed to watch discovery channel☝
.
What will be she trying to discover ways to leave me no gal u gonna watch Regular Show and Mr bean

My girlfriend found a lipstick in my pocket.
I personally admitted that I am cheating….
I can’t tell her am selling Avon.
I want to eat my money in peace

You dont even have a passport but your
naked pictures are in America.
My sister you made it.

Since I was born, I have never lived a year without Robert Mugabe being the President of Zimbabwe. 2018 is not real
Can someone tell me this is a joke