My ex told me she will love me until forever
comes, I didnt know forever is her
Zimbabwean boyfriend
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Dad: Who do you like more ,Mum o Dad?
Son:Both
Dad:Ok if i go to America and your mum goes to Paris ,where will you go.
Son: Paris.
Dad: Dat means you like your mum more? Son:No ,that means i like Paris Dad: Ok if i go to Paris and your mum goes to America ,where will you go?
Son: America.
Dad: (Angry) Why! ?
Son: ‘cos l’ve been to Paris before. Dad: (angry) when did you go to Paris ? Son : in the first question you asked.
One word for the boy?
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I was out getting a walk last night when a policeman stopped me and said, “I want you to go straight home.” “I can’t.” I said. “Why not?” Ha asked. “Because I live round the corner.” 😼
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A quick joke.
I called my boss to tell him that
Me : I’m not coming to work today
Boss : why ?
Me : problems with my eyes.
Boss : what’s wrong.
Me : I don’t SEE myself coming to work
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When your wife keeps her head on your chest and slowly asks
“Dear do have any women in your life other than me”?
Remember your answer is not important at this time
Important is your heartbeat. Keep your heart beat in control
So be careful
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I am selling a good second hand girlfriend*
Still attractive with 1 child and in good condition.
Model: 1993
Make: slender
Mileage: 1 child
Suspension finished shocks but replaceable.
Prize negotiable ,swap and top also accepted .
If interested please inbox me.
remember no road test
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A guy stuck his head into a barber’s shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut ?” The Barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2hours”.
The guy left.
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut “?
The Barber looked around at the shop and said “About 3hours”.
The guy left.
A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut ?”
The Barber looked around the shop and said, “About an hour only”
The guy left.
The Barber turned to a friend and said Nicholas, please do me a favor, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut , but then he doesn’t ever come back.
A little while later, Nicholas return to the shop.
The Barber asked, “So where does that guy go whenever he leaves here?
Nicholas looked up, with tears in his eyes and said,
“To your wife at home”
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Familie*The Kasama Brothel*
The madam opened the brothel door in Kasama and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties.
“May I help you sir?” she asked.
“I want to see Mwansa,” the man replied.
“Sir, Mwansa is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the madam.
“No, I must see Mwansa,” he replied.
Just then, Mwansa appeared and announced to the man she charged K5000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand Kwacha and gave it to Mwansa, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Mwansa. Mwansa explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive.
There were no discounts. The price was still K5000. Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Mwansa, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Mwansa and they went upstairs.
After their session, the man asked Mwansa to sign a receipt that she had received K15000. She was astonished nevertheless signed on the receipt and said to the man, “No one has ever been with me three nights in a row and for sure this is the first time anyone has asked me to sign a receipt. Where are you from?”
The man replied, “Chipata.”
“Really”, she said. “I have family in Chipata.”
“I know.” the man said.
“Your sister died, and I’m her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver you K15,000 inheritance in person.”
Three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Being screwed by a lawyer
3. Wise men come from the east.
********************
If you have any question ask me
Another wiseman
😂😂😂😂
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My neighbour bought a sound system for the first time
now he’s calling his kids using a Mic
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Leave that abusive relationship before you become a motivational speaker…
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A Man back from work see he’s wife on couch and say bbe I have a problem at work and wife say don’t say you have a problem say we have a p because we married now what yours is mines too the man OK our problem is that we slept with a girl now she’s pregnant our baby
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When your heart is healed and you hear him say ′′ hey you!”
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If You can’t swim just chill outside the pool.
Stop walking in a pool like you are an invigilator.
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The pain of being made fool by the person you’re trying to make fool though
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How can you let a nigga with no passport tell you
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the World “?
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Americans: On your marks,
get ready,set.. go..
.
South Africa: Onyormass,
set ready, set.. gooooo
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