My biggest concern in life is
actually how my online friends
can be informed of my death…
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Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems,
I’m tired of solving them for you
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hate when people look at my phone
while I’m typing.
It’s not that I have something to hide…
It’s just none of their damn business :/
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Success is like being pregnant everybody congratulates you,
But nobody knows how many times you got fucked to get there.
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Actual meanings:
TC Bye = Shut up and Get Lost !
Ahaan ! = I’m really not interested in your stuff baby
Hmmmm = So why are you telling me all these !
Hey what’s up = I’m bored, talk to me please..
Cool = I’ve heard enough of you loser !
OK = whatever! Don’t eat my brain now
Lol = Trust me, I have absolutely nothing to say !! 😛
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I’m So Alone That My Dark Circles Are Larger Than My Friend Circle..
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Q: Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A: Now stop talking about that and brush your face!
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Client: Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence.
Me: You mean … the period?
Client: I don’t care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it.
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When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
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Judge: “Where do you work?”
Defendant: “Here and there.”
Judge: “What do you do for a living?”
Defendant: “This and that.”
Judge: “Take him away.”
Defendant: “Wait; when will I get out?”
Judge: “Sooner or later.”
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“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
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A Canadian psychologist is
selling a video that
teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ.
Here’s how it works:
If you spend $12.99 for the video,
your dog
is smarter than you.
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An Economist Beautifully Explained Reasons For Having Two Wives.
1. Monopoly Should Be Broken.
2 Competition Improves The Quality Of Service
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Boy Was Driving To New York With His Girlfriend.
He Kept His Hand On Her Knee,
She Smiled & Said “You Can Go Further”
He Went To New Jersy
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A Bar Opened Opposite A Church!
The Church Prayed Daily Against The Bar Business
Days Later The Bar Was Struck By Lightning & Caught Fire Which Destroyed It.
Bar Owner Sued The Church Authorities For The Cause Of Its Destruction,
As It Was An Action Because Of Their Prayer, The Church Denied All Responsibility!
So, The Judge Commented,
“It’s Difficult To Decide The Case
Because
Here We Have A Bar Owner Who Believes In The Power Of Prayer
&
An Entire Church That Doesn’t Believe In It !”
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Definition Of A Boss: “Boss Is A Person Who Thinks
That Nine Women Together Can
Produce A Baby In One Month”
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