Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant…

As the food was served, Husband said:
“The Food looks delicious, let’s eat.”

Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That’s at home sweetheart… Here the chef knows how to cook.

Two men are discussing their lives. One says, “I’m getting married. I’m sick of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear.” The other one says, “Hey, I’m getting divorced for the same reasons.”

A Boy On Date In BMW Car.

Boy: “I Hid Something Form You.”

Girlfriend: “What?”

Boy: “I’m Already Married & Have Two Child.”

Girlfriend: “Ohhh, You Scared Me!
I Thought The BMW Is Not Yours.“

A Man And His Family Doctor Accidentally Meets In The Market.

Doctor: “How Is Your Headache Now?”

Patient: “Ohh, She Is Out Of Town.”

Pathan’s Wife Bought A Beautiful Sweater For Her Husband.

She Sent It To Him By Parcel Along With A Note…

That Said: “The Buttons Of The Sweater Are Removed Since They Were Too Heavy & Added To The Postage. U’ll Find ‘Em In The Right Hand Pocket Of The Sweater“

If your girlfriend doesn’t act like a psycho with you, she is not in love with you.

For A Girl Who Says,

All Men Are The Same Should Be Asked,
Who Told Her To Try All Of Them.

Choosing Career Is Like Choosing A Wife From 10 Girls.

Even If You Pick The Most Beautiful And Intelligent Woman,

There’s Still Pain Of Losing The Other 9.

Importance Of Thumb

Babies Use It For Chewing.

Illiterate People Use It For Sign.

Winners Use It For Victory.

My Fans Use It For Reading My SMS.

Oh! You Too? Crazy Fans.

It was oral examination in the standard two. The class teacher asked various questions to the students. She asked Tom, ‘Can you tell me a name of an animal that starts with alphabet ‘E’?
Tom replied ‘ELEPHANT’
Teacher asked him again to name an animal that starts with alphabet ‘T’.
Tom replied ‘Two Elephants’
Teacher asked him the same question.
Tom replied ‘Ten Elephants’
Annoyed teacher, asked him name an animal that starts with alphabet ‘M’
Tom replied ‘Mother Elephant’
The angry teacher repeated the same question.
Cool Tom replied ‘May be an elephant’

Johnny asked to Sam what they will do that night.
Sam said “we will flip a coin”
Then Johnny said “If it comes head, we will go for movies. If tails, we will play cards, if it stands on edge, we will study”!

Teacher asked the students to tell the importance of the year 1809.
John stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was born”
Then teacher again asked the students to tell the importance of another year 1819
Then Sam suddenly stand up and said “Abraham Lincoln was ten years old”!

Teacher: Which one is closer, Sun or Africa?
Johnny: Sun
Teacher: Why?
Johnny: We can see the sun all the time, but can’t see Africa.

Teacher said the students to convert the sentence “I killed a person” into future tense.
Suddenly Johnny stands up and said, Sir the future tense is “u will go to jail”!