A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

There Are Basically 7 Types Of Girls…

1. Hard Disk Girls: Remember Everything Forever.

2. Ram Girls: Forgets About You The Moment You Turn Her Off.

3. Screen Saver Girls: Just For Looking.

4. Internet Girls: Difficult To Access.

5. Server Girls: Always Busy When Needed.

6. Multimedia Girls: Makes Horrible Things Looks Beautiful.

7. Virus Girls: These Type Of Girls Are Normally Called Wife
Once Enters In Your System Don’t Leave Even After Format.

Choosing Career Is Like Choosing A Wife From 10 Girls.

Even If You Pick The Most Beautiful And Intelligent Woman,

There’s Still Pain Of Losing The Other 9

Importance Of Thumb

Babies Use It For Chewing.

Illiterate People Use It For Sign.

Winners Use It For Victory.

My Fans Use It For Reading My SMS.

Oh! You Too? Crazy Fans.

Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl.
Father : That’s great son. Who is she?
Son : It’s Sandra, the neighbour’s daughter.
Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple of months later :
Son : Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father : That’s great son. Who is she?
Son : It’s Angela, the other neighbour’s daughter.
Father : Ohhhh I wish you hadn’t said that. Angela is also your sister. This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.
Son : Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can’t date any of them because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says : My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn’t your Father..!!

Teacher: Why didn’t you come school yesterday?
Student: my dad’s in the hospital.
7days later,
Teacher: is your dad still in the hospital? Student:Yes…. he’s a docto

Teacher: “Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up!”
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: “Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!”
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: “Ohh, Johnny you think you’re stupid?”
Little Johnny: “No… i just feel bad that you’re standing alone..

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!”
The Monkey looks down and says “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. How much water did you drink ?

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question?
TEACHER: Yes!
STUDENT: How do you put an
elephant inside a fridge?
TEACHER: I don’t know.
STUDENT: It’s easy, you just open
the fridge and put it in. I have
another question!
TEACHER: Ok, ask.
STUDENT: How to put a donkey
inside the fridge?
TEACHER: It’s easy, you just open
the fridge and put it in.
STUDENT: No sir, You just open the
fridge take out the elephant and put
it in.
TEACHER: Ooh…ok!!
STUDENT: Let me ask another one. If
all the animals went to the lion’s
birthday party, and one animal went
missing which one would it be?
TEACHER: The lion of course!
Because it wud eat all the animals.
STUDENT: No sir, it is the donkey
becoz it’s still inside the fridge.
TEACHER: Are you kidding me?
STUDENT: No sir, 1 last question.
TEACHER: Ok!
STUDENT: If there’s a river full of
crocodiles and you wanted to cross,
how would you?
TEACHER: There’s no way, I would
need a boat to cross.
STUDENT: No sir, you just swim and
cross it because all the
animals went to the lion’s birthday
party.