A Russian While Visiting India Went For An Eye Check Up. The Dr. Shows The Letters On The Board “CZWXNQSTAZKY” & Asked.

Doctor: “Can You Read This?”

Russian: “Read? I Even Know This Guy. He’s My Cousin.”

A Japanese Came To India. He Took An Auto To Go To The Airport On The Way A Honda Overtakes

Japanese: “Honda Made In Japan……… Very Fast”

Next A Toyota Overtakes.

Japanese: “Toyota Made In Japan……….Very Fast”

Airport Came He Asked: “How Much?”

Autowala: “Rs. 8000/-”

Japanese: “Why So Expensive?”

Autowala: “Meter Made In India………..Very Fast“

I Sent A Text To My Wife Last Night: “Hi Babe I’m At The Pub With Some Lads, Please Try And Wash All My Dirty Clothes And Make Sure You Prepare My Favourite Dish Before I Return.”

I Sent Another Text: “Babe I Forgot To Tell You That I Got An Increase In My Salary At The End Of The Month I’m Getting You A New Car”

She Text Back In One Second: “OMG Really?”

I Replied: “No I Just Wanted To Make Sure You Got My First Message.“

You’re so stupid that you had to call
411 to get the number for 911

Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan?
A: Because every time they stopped the clock,
she thought that she had stopped aging.

After a big accident, a man was crying :
O God! I have lost my left hand?
Santa: Control yourself my friend.
Don’t cry. See that man.
He has lost his head.
Is he crying?

After robbing the bank, 1 robber to clerk : Did you see me robbing?
Clerk : Yes I saw u.
Robber killed him and asked to the next clerk : Did u?
Second Clerk : No, but my wife saw u!

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything.

A Man looking at sky asks another Man :
Is that a sun or moon?
Other Man replies :Oye ! No idea…
Im new to this city..

While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that
he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.
Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down,
Banta asked why the small one was there.
“Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less Tv.”

In 3 ways u can break d mirror…
1.throw stone at d mirror
2. throw de mirror on d floor.
3. stand in front of d mirror and smile
by showing ur teeth….

He HoLds mE whEn I sTaRt To CrY
MaKeS mE sMiLe WiTh jUsT hIs EyEs
ShArEs My HoPeS, dReAmS, fEaRs
He WiPeS aWaY aLL mY tEaRs
I LoVe HiM wIth nO rEgReT
I JuSt HaVeN’t FoUnD hIm YeT “

Facebook is like prison,
you write on walls and get
poked by people you don’t know.