Have you noticed that Girls have “Three Voices”:
•°•
ONE☝, Is used when answering calls📱.
◽
TWO✌, The other one at home 🏡 when
she is talking to her siblings👪 (Her Original Voice) ®
◽
THREE👌, Is used when she’s talking to her “Bae”

Xhosa parents would want you to sit on their lap
even when you’re 18 years
just to avoid paying your fare in a taxi

She will text you saying gudnyt honey nd still text another guy
same time nd say i’m at your gate sweet!!

*WE ARE BLACK AND WE DONT CARE WHAT THEY THINK OF US**
.

-We call every toothpaste COLGATE
We don’t care
-We call every cooking oil FISH OIL
We are proud
-We point at an empty chair and ask “Who’s sitting there ”
We are like that
-We call every cold drinks COKE
We don’t care
-We steal your belongings and help you look for them
We are just like that
-We name our dogs TIGER or Spider
We don’t give a f**k
-We promise to stab you with a slap or bare hand
We are sometimes strange
-We eat a fruit an expect to be healthy at the same time
We don’t care
-When electricity goes we go out and,check if it’s the whole street
We are just like that
-We blame atchar for smelling armpits even if we didn’t bath
We are sometimes weird
-We use a bar of soap till it looks like a Sim card
We don’t have a problem
-We buy something,skip instruction&ask neighbors how it’s used
We don’t care
-We withdraw money from an ATM then count it 3x before going
We are cautious
-We lock the car then try to open it 2 times before going
We are like that
-We pay R500 to a sangoma so we can know who stole R50
We are sometimes weird
-We turn off the volume just to smell what’s burning
We are like that
-When we go out we turn on the lights just to confuse thieves
We are smart
-We share beers and cigarettes but we don’t share opportunities
We are sometimes selfish
We are proud to be black and we love ourselves like that

Your Periods Will Skip You Just Like The Way
You’re Skipping Our Posts!!!

My message on whatsapp I sent it, it came, it came, it was read, it was burnt, it was made a screenshot, it was sent to friends it was funny! 😐 😥

Absolutely devastated.
A very sad day today. After 7 years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients (they were good friends) and can now no longer work in the profession he loves. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.

A mad person stole a mobile phone from a shop. He was caught but the owner of the shop decided to let him keep it, after all a mad person wouldn’t know how to operate the complicated handset. But something funny happened as the mad man pressed the phone, it didn’t respond, so he continued pressing and pressing and pressing… *Read more*

Guy hey babes hw r u?
Girl: gnu
Boy: am gud tnx
Girl: k
Boy: swity I hev a Q
Girl: wat nw?
Boy: wher r we?
Girl: Zimbabwe
Boy: no I mean me n u, who r we?
Girl: two Zimbabweans!

I once smoked weed and I got into a huge argument with myself, that day I got death
threats coz I was winning the argument… I’ll never touch the shit again.

When people around you succeed, it shows that the que is moving. Don’t be jealous but rejoice, your time is coming .

>You are not black enough if your mother
didn’t tell you to reduce your age in a taxi😂

I created a fake account and started chatting with my wife,
she told me her husband died 5years ago