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WIFE: *Honey let’s play a game*

HUSBAND: *Okay. What’s the game about?*

WIFE: *If I mention a fruit, you run to the left side of the room and touch the wall & if I mention a colour, you run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you’ll give me all your salary for this month*

HUSBAND: *Okay! And if you fail in your turn, I’ll have your salary too right?*

WIFE: (smiles) *Yes darling!*

HUSBAND: *Okay* (stands up ready to run in any direction)
*Are you ready*

Husband: *Yes ready*

WIFE: *Orange!*

Its been 4 HOURS NOW…
The husband is still standing on the spot wondering if she meant the fruit or the color

*Moral lesson… After God, Fear Women!*

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Mom: what are doing today?😉

Me: Nothing why?😐

Mom: But u did nothing yesterday😔

Me: I didn’t finish

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I am looking for the girlfriend for the second semester. Girlfriend Pocket Allowance R1800, 5GB data montly and R1500 clothes allowance montly.

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Nothing makes short girls happier than seeing someone more shorter them..!

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When you are beautiful on facebook but ugly in real life.
You shld be arrested for misleading the public!!

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Pliz dont make a woman cry, for a womans tears are expensive. When a single drop comes out, it mixes with Loreal eyeliner-$11.50, and Revlon mascara-$18.50. When it rolls down the cheek it further mixes with D &G blusher-$15 and Mac powder-$9.50. Finally when it gets to the lips it mixes with Maybelline lipstick-$12 and Avon lip gloss-$4.50.

This means a single tear drop is ruining about *$70*.
Please don’t make them cry.

*_At least make men cry coz its only vaseline-$1.50._*

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There was a girl called Nothing and there were 2 boys named Somebody and Nobody ,
they were both crushing for Nothing
They started fighting for her .
Then someone went to the police station to report,”
Officer somebody and Nobody are fighting for Nothing ,” please lets go

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Christmas is a Christian holiday that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. No one knows the exact date of Christ’s birth, but most Christians observe Christmas on December 25. On this day, many go to church, where they take part in special religious services. During the Christmas season, they also exchange gifts and decorate their homes with holly, mistletoe, and Christmas trees. T he word Christmas comes from Cristes maesse, an early English phrase that means Mass of Christ.

The story of Christmas comes chiefly from the Gospels of Saint Luke and Saint Matthew in the New Testament. According to Luke, an angel appeared to shepherds outside the town of Bethlehem and told them of Jesus’s birth. Matthew tells how the wise men, called Magi, followed a bright star that led them to Jesus.

The first mention of December 25 as the birth date of Jesus occurred in A.D. 336 in an early Roman calendar. The celebration of this day as Jesus’s birth date was probably influenced by pagan (unchristian) festivals held at that time. The ancient Romans held year-end celebrations to honor Saturn, their harvest god; and Mithras, the god of light. Various people in northern Europe held festivals in mid-December to celebrate the end of the harvest season. As part of all these celebrations, the people prepared special foods, decorated their homes with greenery, and joined in singing and gift giving. These customs gradually became part of the Christmas celebration.

In the late 300’s, Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire. By 1100, Christmas had become the most important religious festival in Europe, and Saint Nicholas was a symbol of gift giving in many European countries. During the 1400’s and 1500’s, many artists painted scenes of the Nativity, the birth of Jesus.

The popularity of Christmas grew until the Reformation, a religious movement of the 1500’s. This movement gave birth to Protestantism. During the Reformation, many Christians began to consider Christmas a pagan celebration because it included nonreligious customs. During the 1600’s, because of these feelings, Christmas was outlawed in England and in parts of the English colonies in America. The old customs of feasting and decorating, however, soon reappeared and blended with the more Christian aspects of the celebration.

In the 1800’s, two more Christmas customs became popular—decorating Christmas trees and sending Christmas cards to relatives and friends. Many well-known Christmas carols, including “Silent Night” and “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing,” were composed during this period. In the United States and other countries, Santa Claus replaced Saint Nicholas as the symbol of gift giving.

The celebration of Christmas became increasingly important to many kinds of businesses during the 1900’s. Today, companies manufacture Christmas ornaments, lights, and other decorations throughout the year. Other firms grow Christmas trees, holly, and mistletoe. Many stores and other businesses hire extra workers during the Christmas seaso n to handle the increase in sales.

The word Xmas is sometimes used instead of Christmas. This tradition began in the early Christian church. In Greek, X is the first letter of Christ’s name. It was frequently used as a holy symbol.

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Dear Single Nd beautiful Ladies: i want to tell you the Bitter truth😥
That 500 nd above likes you always get chases a potential future husband away

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I am a moral philosopher following
Socrates my predecessor and other
rationalist thinkers in the struggle.

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Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
So what do the rest have?
.
.
.
.
.
They have girl friends

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Classic Revenge… 😜
.
Recently somewhere on the streets, Ofengo met his High School Maths Teacher and he asked for the directions to the nearest FNB Bank.
Ofengo: Take a 310 degree turn, walk for about 184.7 metres (round that up to the nearest tens), you will then see a shop which is perpendicular to your right, make an obtuse angle turn and you will see the Bank at a distance of about the logarithm of square root of 7. :/
Let him feel what you felt as a student!!

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WAKE UP PARENTS*

Years back, *poor illiterate parents* produced
🔹Doctors,
🔹Engineers,
🔹 Scientists,
🔹 Accountants,
🔹 Lawyers,
🔹 Architects,
🔹 Professors.., Teachers , Nurses, etc whom I will refer to as *Group ‘A’*.

These *Group ‘A’* Children struggled on their own after Primary 6 or Grade 12, to become notable personalities. Most of them
👉🏾trekked to school *barefooted*
👉🏾went to farms
👉🏾fetched water and firewood
👉🏾cared for domesticated animals
👉🏾did some work including trading after school to survive.

Now Group ‘A’ ,who have now become Parents themselves are *producing Group ‘B’ Children*
These group B children are
🔹pampered
🔹 helped in their homeworks or home assignments from nursery school through secondary schools to higher institutions.
🔹chauffeur driven to very expensive schools or are sent abroad to study.
🔹they can watch movies from morning till dawn after school.
🔹 they are treated like baby kings and queens.
🔹they don’t do any household chores.
🔹Food is put on the table for them,
🔹their plates are removed and washed by parents or house maids.
🔹They are given expensive cars and clothes,
🔹not forgetting *big pocket money to be wasted* !!!.
🔹Their parents help them in doing their assignments.
🤔 In spite of all these, only few can *speak* or *write* correctly. 😏

🤔Group ‘A’ Parents cared for their own *parents* and *children*, Group ‘B’,their Children are still *struggling to find their feet at age 30+*.‼
🤔They find it difficult to do things on their own because they are used to being helped to think and doing things by Group ‘A’. So they can’t help themselves, their parents or the society. THEY ABANDON THEIR PARENTS IN THEIR BID TO ACQUIRE THE WORLD

😴 *Where do you belong*❓
🏮Reduce the pampering and the unnecessary help you offer your children.
🏮 Let your children *grow in wisdom, intelligence and strength*.
🏮Let them face the truth and the realities of life. Teach them to grow to become *independent adults.* Teach them to
👉🏾fear God,
👉🏾respect others and
👉🏾develop confidence in themselves.
🤔Parents, discipline your children to become disciplined adults, *useful* and not *useless.*

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Stupid Answers for Stupid Questions
1. Someone calls you at 2:am in
the night and ask you “are you
sleeping?”
Ans: no, I’m picking beans.
2. You’re making out with a girl
then you start pulling her pants
then she asks; what are you trying to
do?
Ans: I want to wash them for you
3. They see you coming out of
the bathroom, wet; ”did you just have
a bath?”
Ans: no, I fell into the toilet bowl
4. You standing right in front of
the elevator on the ground floor
going to your office, yet they ask;
”going up?”
Ans: no, I’m waiting for my office
to come down and meet me!
5. Your boyfriend comes home
with a bunch of flowers and you
still asks him; ”are those flowers?”
Ans: no baby, they’re carrots!
6. You’re in the queue at the
cinema to buy tickets, a friend
sees you and ask; ”what are you
doing here?”
Ans: I’m here to pay my school
fees!
7. When people see you lying
down with your eyes closed, they
still ask; ”are you sleeping?”
Ans: No! I’m practicing to die.
8. You went to a restaurant n the
waiter asks you: ”Plz can I get
you a table?”
Ans: No. I’m here to eat on the
floor.
9. Are you reading this post?
Ans:…..??????!!!!

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