The unemployment rate in South Africa worries me..
this coming election, people should just drop their CV’s in the ballot box

*Those of you who used to call the teacher when there was a free period*, *hope you’re working at world bank*…nonsense

Very important health tips: don’t eat
burgers, pizzas, chat, ice cream & chocolate
Without ME!

I Told my uncle that I see myself wen I luk at him.
I don’t know why he smiled becoz there’s honestly too much Vaseline on his face

*I know there are so many things dat won’t be tolerated in 2018 buh these are some random QUOTES dat are free to enter 2018*

1. Being kissed does not mean you are loved.
Ask Jesus about Judas

2. 80% of cute girls are single because all boys
think she definitely has a boyfriend!

3. Welcome to Africa where Jesus sends you a
whatsapp message and threatens to kill you if
you do not send it to 20 people

4. No matter how light skinned you are, your
shadow will always be black

5. Gaining weight while you owe me money is a
sign of Disrespect. # LOLZ

6. The distance between Egypt and Israel is
about 613km but it took moses and Israelites 40
years to complete their journey. On average each day
they walked only 43 metres, yes only 43 metres,
almost half of what Usain Bolt do in 5 seconds. I just
wish if moses was around to explain this
Laziness

7. The reason why some other guys treats you
better than your boyfriend is because they
haven’t slept with you yet.

8. Some ladies will be matching purses with
clothes But cannot match babies to their real Daddies #
WINKS *

9. MARY was a virgin and she married a
carpenter (JOSEPH). You are not a virgin and you are
waiting for a billionaire to marry you?
I will not say anything

10. No African girl will choose six packs over
six cars, so stop going to the gym and go to
work # FACT

11. If the government would ban women from
using makeup, a lot of kids will not recognise
their mothers

12. The only person a woman attentively
listens to and obeys sincerely and does exactly
as he say is a PHOTOGRAPHER, otherwise if you’re not a
photographer, sit down and be strong

13. You haven’t moved on if you still remember
your Ex’s phone number. I’m not gonna argue
with you.

14. Slim Girls who go for jogging at dawn, what do
you want to lose again…
Your life?

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. “Of course, my son,” said the priest. “Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.” “That’s a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess,” said the priest. “It’s worse than that, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favours,” continued the old man.
“Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly,” said the priest. “Thanks, Father,” said the old man.
“That’s a load off of my mind. The old man asked, “Do I need to tell her that the war is over?”

The only problem of being a visitor is
where to hang your underwear.