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A Preacher said: “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river”. And the congregation cried,”Amen!” “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river”. And the congregation cried,”Amen!” “And if I had all the whiskey and rum in the world, I’d take it all and throw it in the river”. Again the congregation cried,”Amen!”
The preacher sat down. The deacon then stood up & said: “For our closing hymn, let’s turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing, ‘We shall drink from that river’.
THE CONGREGATION SCREAMED HALLELUJAH!!

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A couple both aged 37 went 2 a sex therapist’s office. The DR asked, what cn I do 4 u? The man said “will u watch us hv sex? The Dr looked puzzled but agreed. Wen de couple finished having intercourse the Dr said”there’s nothing wrong with de way u hv intercourse and charged them R250. This happened several weeks in a row, the couple cud make an appointment and hv intercourse with no problems,pay the Dr and leave. FINALLY the Dr asked”Just exactly what r u trying 2 find out?”. The man said”we r nt trying 2 find out anything. She’s is married and we cnt go 2 her house.I’m married so we can’t go 2 my house. At the guest house they charge R650, the hotel charges R800. We do it here for R250 and I claim it back frm Medical Aid!

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A way of separating with yr girlfriend b4 14 Febuary!!

If u found 8 missed calls just say “Stop making many calls you are killing my battery nd I can see you are capable of killing me”

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The world has grown suspicious of anything
that looks like a happily married life.

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If you meet a woman that admit she’s wrong, apologises and changes her ways. Dump her, that might be a man, women don’t do that..!

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A house is built by hands
but A Home is built by hearts.

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You Can Talk As Much Bad As You Can About The Beautiful Girls Slaying On Facebook But Don’t Forget🙋 We Know That Deep Down You Want To Be A Slay Queen Too.
But Your Looks Are Beyond Your Control. Sorry My Sister

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The single finger of friend that wipes out your tear
during your failure is much better than the one
0 fingers which come together to clap for you.

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Job interview for a security guard

Interviewer: “Can u speak English”
Job seeker: “Will the thieves be from England

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At ABSA bank today in Polokwane Branch, a man goes to the ATM and
withdraws all his money. Then goes inside
the same bank and deposit the same
money he withdrew, telling the bank
officer that, my money is not safe outside
in the ATM…people are just withdrawing
anyhow and they may end up
withdrawing my money. Keep my money
inside the bank please!

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when ZCC members fight
we call it star wars

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A pilot on an aeroplane said: Ladies & Gentlemen, the plane is losing altitude, all the baggages must be thrown out.
.
A while later, the pilot said: we are still losing altitude, we must throw out everything that is in the cabin.
.
The plane continue to descend despite more things being thrown out.
.
The pilot said: “We are still going down, we must throw out some people.”
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There was a big gasp from the passengers.
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The pilot continued “But to make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order.”
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So “A” any African on board??
.
Nobody moved.
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The pilot said “B” Any Blacks on board?
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The pilot said “C” any coloured on board?
.
Still nobody moved.
.
The pilot said “D” any Darkies on board?
.
.
An African boy asked his Dad: Dad, arent we Black people? The Dad said “My son tonight we are Zulus”

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Whites: tooth spoon
Blacks : tiss spoon
Black People mara, I give up on you guys

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To everyone going through any struggle or pain right now,
keep your head up, and keep on smiling,
you’ll get through it

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Just because he called and say “sleep like a baby my love”
He doesn’t mean you must urinate on the bed..

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your baby bra is really cute.
Isn’t that when you were in elementary school.
Until this college you are still wearing.
Durable, huh

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