That Aww Feelings:
I don’t need a perfect one , I just need someone who can make me feel that .. I am the only one
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𝒟𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝓈𝓌𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒.. 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈.
𝒯𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓇 𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝑜𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓈𝑒 𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑒𝓈 𝑜𝓃.
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When they say, Behind Every Successful Man there is a Woman.
They mean His Mother
Not you
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No Matter What is Going On With You Today, HE KNOWS. God Has Not Forgotten You, And He is Right There With You Through it.
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Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, triple-pane, energy-efficient kind.
Today, I got a call from Home Depot who installed them. The caller complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn’t paid for them.
Helloooo,……….. just because I’m a Senior Citizen doesn’t mean that I am automatically mentally challenged.
So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year–that these windows would pay for themselves in a year—
Hellooooo? It’s been a year, so they’re paid for, I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up.
He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.
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If u want to look like an idiot😉
Advise a girl that is in love
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Wanna Hug Yeah so tight..
That even air couldn’t fill the space between us
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Sometimes when am bored I go to my block list to check
how my prisoners are doing.
When in good mood I release one or two
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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
“Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.”
The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”
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How they kidnapped me
Kidnapers: Get in the van we have a lot of sweets for you .
Me : no I’m fine I don’t like sweets.
Kidnapers : we also have fRee WiFi .
Me: ok let go !
Mary”‘with real rato !
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I just love South African
university’s, their
identity cards comes with
Rope..just incase
you are tired of life.
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3 steps to move on. CTRL + ALT + DEL. Control yourself,
look for an alternate solution &
delete the situation that hurts you.
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Fat girls stop inboxing me…..
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I am not selling herbex
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Selfie Sticks were invented for
people who only look good from
a distance
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Teacher : “Who is the president of South Africa?”
Children : “Shaka Zulu.”
Teacher : “Correct, and the minister off defence?”
Children : “Benny McCArthy.”
Teacher : “Correct, what is the capital city of South Africa?”
Children : “Nkandla.”
Teacher : “Very good,
and who composed the national anthem?”
Children : “Black coffee and Dj Tira.”
Teacher : “Excellent, what do you call people from Moscow?”
Children : “Mosquitoes.”
Teacher : “Perfect, how much is 2 + 5?”
Children : “25”
Teacher : “That’s great, you’re going to be stupid like this until your government increases my salary!”
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You know it’s winter when a Slender chick says
“Let me focus on my Studies”..!
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