Rich was very drunk and was struggling to open his door with his key🔑…

His neighbour asked him: “sir, can i help you open the door?”😕

Rich replied and said:
“Don’t worry the house is rotating…
just help me hold the house straight,
i can open the door”

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed,
told her a story and listened to her prayers
which ended by saying: “God bless Mommy,
God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and
goodbye Grandpa.”
The father asked, “Why did you say goodbye
Grandpa?”
The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it
just seemed like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died. The father
thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to
bed and listened to her prayers which went
like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless
Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The next day
the grandmother died.
“Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in
contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going
to bed the dad heard her say: “God bless
Mommy and goodbye Daddy.” He practically
went into shock.
He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the
crack of dawn to go to his office. He was
nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and
watched the clock. He figured if he could get
by until midnight he would be okay. He felt
safe in the office, so instead of going home
at the end of the day he stayed there,
drinking coffee, looking at his watch and
jumping at every sound.
Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh
of relief and went home. When he got home
his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so
late, what’s the matter?”
He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve
just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day?
You’ll never believe what happened to me.
This morning the mailman dropped dead on
our porch!”

Husband And His Wife Were Having Dinner At Fancy Restaurant 😊💝🔐

As The Food Was Served

Husband Said:” The Food Looks Delicious, Let’s Eat ”

Wife :”Honey…You Say a Prayer Before We Eat At Home”

Husband:” That’s At Home Sweetheart…Here The Chef Knows How To Cook ”

Do you still remember when you were chilling with your ex
giving your unborn babies names?😂😅

Yey don’t scroll down, I’m talking to you

Apart from “Fine” and “okay”
what other death threats do women use?

I hate people who can’t handle alcohol.
Yesterday my friends dropped me three times while carrying me home

I invited her to my room now
she’s killing my cockroaches

Being a man is tough
Imagine just chilling, being broke in peace then
someone’s daughter starts liking you.