I Had A Fight With My Roommate Since Ya-Madoda Ay’pheli😏…I Have Decided To Remove All The Labels On The Tins (Fish, CHAKALAKA, Beans) He Must Eat Surprises The Whole Month

Fake Friends will buy
you alcohol and keep
job opportunities for
themselves .chose
wisely ‘D

A blind guy visited his choir mistress at home
and found her bathing. since he was blind, she
let him in. After bathing, she came out naked
with her legs spread and started shaving in front
of him and tried to make a conversation by
asking him, brother John, what brings you here?
Is everything OK at home? He replied, yes o, very
fine. I came to tell you that I have done the eye
surgery and I can see very clearly now

My goal for 2018…

Is to accomplish the goals of 2017 which I should have done in 2016,because I promised them in 2015 and planned them in 2014…

A guy stuck his head into a barber’s shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut ?” The Barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2hours”.
The guy left.
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut “?
The Barber looked around at the shop and said “About 3hours”.
The guy left.
A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut ?”
The Barber looked around the shop and said, “About an hour only”
The guy left.
The Barber turned to a friend and said Nicholas, please do me a favor, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut , but then he doesn’t ever come back.
A little while later, Nicholas return to the shop.
The Barber asked, “So where does that guy go whenever he leaves here?
Nicholas looked up, with tears in his eyes and said,
“To your wife at home”

How Much 5Litre Of 4 Cousins Will Cost
If I Bring My Own Cousins???

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 in the morning…
can you believe it? 2:30?.
.
luckily i was still up playing load music

*Girl*_ : _I’m leaving you coz you focus too much on football 😤😤
_*Boy*_ : are you leaving on loan or full transfer ?

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT PARTS OF SOUTH AFRICA.

Scenario 1:
Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
That’s Polokwane.

Scenario 2:
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out & call their friends on their mobiles.
Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are definitely in Cape Town, with dem coloured okes.

Senario 3:
Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along and tries to make peace. The first two get together and beat him up.
That’s Durban.

Scenario 4:
two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a stand to sell tea and Magwinya.
“Welcome to Joburg”

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra.He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer Peter replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in North Cowra. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule’.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?”
The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very
slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.”
(I love this part)
The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”
MORAL:
When you are educated, you’ll believe only half of what you hear.
When you’re intelligent, you’ll know which half

There is a truck driver who whenever he sees a Politician walking down the street, he always swerves to hit him. One day he sees a priest on the side of the road looking for a ride and so the truck driver picks him up. While they were driving, the driver sees a Politician , and swerves to hit him. But then he remembered he had a priest in the truck, so he swerved back on the road, but he heard a loud “thump” anyway. So the driver turns to the priest and says “Please forgive me,” and the priest said, “You didn’t hit the Politician , but that’s OK, I got him with the door.”