Your boyfriend who failed mathematics is complaining
about you having stretch marks.
Tell him that those are the only marks he will get

Ladies Please can you please be honest with me..👌
•°•
Can Your parents buy you R3500 Brazilian Hair..??

Never force children to Pray😶. At
dinner, a little boy was ordered to lead in prayer🙄…
BOY: But I don’t know how to pray💁‍♂️
DAD: Just pray for your family
members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc😊
BOY: “Dear Lord😊” he started,
Thank u for our visitors and
their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream.🤚
Bless them so they won’t come
again😏. Forgive our neighbor’s son, who removed my sister’s clothes and wrestled with her on her bed😔.This coming Christmas, pliz send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy’s Blackberry😓 and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom’s
room when daddy is at work😕😖 °°°AMEN😌°°°°
…………………………
Dinner was cancelled

I said I’ll Pay You At The End Of The Month,
I Didn’t Say Which Month

I’m tired of the Russians and their Russian beer.
I want them to also support us South Africans with our new whisky

GUY: Babe I really want you to be mine
.
Girl: Lol! I have a boyfriend sorry.
.
Guy: Goalposts have keeper but strikers
always score.
.
Girl: Lol! You look like a defender in this one
then.
.
Guy: Sergio Ramos is a defender but he has
scored in 2 champions league finals.
.
Girl: Whatever Dude! Besides my
boyfriend is tall and rich!.
.
Guy: Manuel Neuer is 6’4 but Messi still
chipped Him.
.
Girl: Lol! But you know that Messi is richer than
Manuel Neuer right?
.
Guy: Sure I know but Messi isn’t taller dan
him, so that is 1 – 1
and that was all Barcelona needed to oust
Chelsea and move on to win the champions league that year. So?
.
Girl: You never give up do you?
.
Guy: Ac milan were leading 3nil in first half against liverpool in 2005 cl final, yet Liverpool won the trophy.
.
Girl: Lol! This your knowledge of football will
really take you places.
.
Guy: Lol, surely will and the next destination
is your heart.
.
Girl: Don’t even try it I will just block you
.
Guy: In 2006 Petr Cech tried blocking
Stephen Hunt from scoring, Cech ended up hurting Himself.
.
Girl: Loool! you are a genius, call me I’ll be free
this weekend!!!.
Anything is possible with Football
😂😂😂

Dear Systems Analyst,

My name is nyaa I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn’t mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as “Boys’ Night out 2.5” and “soccer 5.3” no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected “Saturday pool 6.3” always fails and “Saturday Shopping 7.1” runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to “Girlfriend 7.0”, but uninstall doesn’t work on this program. Can you please help?
CONCERNED
Selibona Nyaa

…. AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:
Dear Mr Nyaa,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors’ Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the………
C: APOLOGIZE FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C: APOLOGIZE FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as “Flowers 2.0” and “Chocolates 5.0” or “HUGS KISSES 600.0” or “TENDERNESS UNDERSTANDING 1000.0″ or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1” (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install “Secretary 2.1” (Short Skirt Version) or “One Nightstand 3.2” (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.

BEST WISHES Nyaa!

Yours, Systems Analyst,

We really go though a lot yaz mara…
other kids are asking for the second graph but
you didn’t even see any question saying you should draw…😂🤣😂.
I hate school.

A girl asked me if Kaizer Chiefs is a series.
I asked her why & she replied “Cos their fans are always waiting for next season.