When You Ask God To Remove All The Fake Things In Your Life
Then They Steal Your Nike Vapormax

You can’t expect her to quickly reply your: “How are you???” Whilst another Guy is asking her “What’s your account number?My nigga Stop Joking.

I once smoked weed and I got into a huge argument with myself, that day I got death
threats coz I was winning the argument… I’ll never touch the shit again.

A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. ‘Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!’

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is already at the table, eating. He asks, ‘Son, what happened last night?’

His son says, ‘Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door’. Confused, the man asks, ‘So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!’

His son replies, ‘Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, ‘LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!’

*Moral*
Saying the right thing while drunk – *PRICELESS*

Thy say Marriage is not an Achievement,
But behind closed doors they’re praying and fasting for it.. “Some Girls!” We know you! 😕

The doctor said I must not carry anything heavy.
So now I sit down when I pee

Imagine Dating A Guy Who’s Afraid To
Drink Rent Money On Weekend…
•°•
MXM!