I smoked weed this morning , I have not yet seen any after effects,
but I fell from a 3 storey building,
i don’t remember if i died or survived.

Zulu couple went to England for Romantic holiday.
They saw a mouse under the bed.
The husband called the reception

Zulu guy: Siza ndoda kunegundwane lapha.

Receptionist: What??? Speak English please 👏

Zulu guy: yoh madoda… Gundwane is there, bed my wife seeid it

Receptionist: What are you saying man😕😕

Zulu guy: Eish nkosiyam…Do you know tom & jerry??

Receptionist: Yes I do😂😂

Zulu guy: yeah Jerry is here

I have never heard pastors
preaching about the maps at the
back of bibles. I think they are
hiding directions to heaven from

IRRITATING & BORING FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES
2. Am back pals! (So ?)
3. Am sick! (Go to the hospital!)
4. My heart is broken, I will never love again (hahahaha who is a heart surgeon or mechanic)
5. Am quitting facebook! (See u out! Do yu know how many people are on facebook? I wont miss abit)
6. Facebook is boring! (hehe cheer it up because ityu boring!)
7. Any lady /guy online? Hitma inbox for a sexchat? (Stupid pervert! This is not a fuckbook)
8. Am back! Did u miss me?(I didn’t even notice yu hadgone… Duh!)
9. Bulawayo, Jhb, China, Zim, here I come. (Hey?? Are you a Crusade?)
10. I love my man…… (Tel him inbox, not us)
11. ADD MORE..

Screenshots don’t scare me shame
I have denied voice notes before

Some girls they will spend the whole time
in a relationship trying to catch a nigga
cheating instead of being happy..!!

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Lee’s wife, Sue, wasn’t wearing any underwear. Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Lee’s wife, Sue, followed and asked, ‘Did you see anything that you like under there?’

Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, he did.

Sue said, ‘Well, you can have it but it will cost you $250.’

Jim confirmed that he is very interested. Sue told him that since her husband Lee played golf Friday afternoons and Jim didn’t, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Lee’s house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum, they went to the bedroom, and Sue gave him a flipping great time. Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Lee came home from golf at 6 p.m. and upon arriving, asked his wife: ‘Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?’

With a lump in her throat Sue answered, ‘Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.’ Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, ‘Did he give you $250?

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, ‘Well, yes, in fact he did.’

Lee, with a satisfied look on his face, continued, ‘Good. He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed $250 from me. He promised he’d stop by this afternoon and pay it back.’

Now THAT, my friends, is how poker should be played…

If u enjoying this December,
u really know how to force things

My relationship status is complicated 😢😢😭😭I’m single but not single single.. Sometimes I get peace jobs in relationships and help here and there but I’m single