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On A Flight James Bond Was Sitting Next To A Telugu Guy.

Telugu Guy: “Hello, May I Know Your Name Please?”

James Bond: “My Name Is Bond’ Continuing In His Inimitable Style.. James Bond.”

Then Bond Asks: “And You?

Telugu Guy: “My Name Is Rao…
“Siva Rao…
“Samba Siva Rao…
“Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
“Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
“Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
“Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…
“Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao…

Since Then When Anyone Asks Bond His Name He Simply Says James Bond

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Most Men Still Live In Their Parent’s House
Because Everyone In The Family Depend On Them
.
They Can’t Even Buy Their Own Cars Because Their Salaries Feed So Many People And Some Of Them Are Single Because The First Question These Unemployed Girls With Stupid Expectations Ask is “Which Car Do You Drive?”
.
Shout Out To Those Men Who Wake Up Every Morning And Work Hard So That Their Parents,Siblings And Children Are Well Taken Care Of
.
God Bless You Bafwethu ..You Might Be Failures On The Streets But You’re Heroes In Your Families

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If Facebook gets banned today
You will see some girls with their pictures
in their hands asking people,
“do you like my pics?”

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I Don’t Know Who Needs To Hear This But Unless
He Wears A Diaper You Can’t Change Him

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The woman who rejected you
because you were poor and dusty
will not regret it or suffer later in
life
She will meet her type, get married
and stay happy. Stop watching
Nigerian movies.

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At the creche where I work, there is a little girl named Vicky. She is so cute and sweet.👼
Yesterday, just before knocking off, I found her busy, trying to put on her shoes.👢
I approached her, and offered to help her. It was such a torrid time. The boots seamed to be smaller than her size. It took me 5 minutes to help her wear them. When we were done, after making a steps away from her, she called me said “Teacher, you made me wear banana”. 🍌 When I looked at her shoes, to my embarrassment, I realised I had misplaced her shoes – the banana style.😱
Upon trying to take off the shoes again, it took me 3 minutes. After struggling so much I eventually managed to remove them and tried putting them on again, this time the correct way. However, it was more difficult than the first time.
When I finished, she said: “Teacher, these shoes are not mine!”
I really got angry, but since I work with little kids, I had to be patient and control my anger. I struggled to remove the shoes. I then asked Vicky where her own shoes were and this is what she said:
“These shoes belong to my sister, my mum is the one who made me wear them in the morning today”.
This time I boiled in anger. But since I always do my job perfectly and whole heartedly, I helped her to put on the shoes again. When we were done, Vicky pulled another shocker, yet again. “What about the socks, teacher?” she asked.
I wondered whether I should laugh or cry.😡
Politely and swiftly I asked her, “Where are the socks Vicky?”
She innocently replied: “I shoved them in my shoes, they are in front of my toes”
I simply resigned!

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What if the spider you killed in your home spent the rest of his life thinking u are his roomate, ever thought of that huh. ? No, because you only think of yourself.

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Ignoring my message?

Don’t worry,
you won’t recieve one of it someday.

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If you see me talking to myself, walk away Am self-employed
we’re having a staff meeting.

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Make sure you’re happy today, because tomorrow is borrowed. Might be taken. Live Life and have good long sleep! 💚
~•~•~
2⃣. Don’t make someone your everything because when they leave you’ll have nothing.

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The single finger of friend that wipes out your tear
during your failure is much better than the one
0 fingers which come together to clap for you.

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One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love,
love someone else.

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When you steal your boyfriend’s phone
while you thought he’s dead alseep and
you hear by his voice saying ” When you’re
done doing whatever you wanna do with
it , Please I beg you go and cry outside I
wanna sleep myself I had a long day “

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Boss: Where were u born?
Frank: Malawi
Boss: ok, which part?
Frank: what do you mean by ’which part’? …
the Whole body was born in Malawi

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Her: bbe im wet
Me : do u need a tissue
Her: im so wet i need something round and big
Me: eh you need the whole roll of tissue

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interviewer: we were paying our previous employee R15000 for that job because he has more experience , so Mr Skebhe how much you expecting us to pay you
Skebhe :oh R25000 mhlonishwa
Interviewer : why you asking such a big salary because you said you don’t have any experience
Skebhe : well job is more harder when you don’t know what you are doing

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