*Two minutes of kissing😘 and you are already breathing like a second hand Generator… And I wonder why you are single*😂😂😂😂

She Just Blocked Me After Commenting On Her Post.
.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh it’s personal ”
“Then why the hell would you post it on Facebook? “

Skinny Chicks With Small Butts Be Like “Don’t
Touch My Butt” Instead Of “Don’t Touch My ass bones”

There’s no bigger peer pressure than All the people around you at church standing up for a song.

No one wears expensive clothes like a guy
who’s not taking care of his child

Nyaope boys will rob you day light while
wearing a T-Shirt written “LET’S UNITE AND
FIGHT CRIME”

KINDS OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK:
1. THE UNHEALTHY: They always have
stomach ache, headache, back ache etc.
Facebook is not a clinic.
2. THE LIARS: Lie about their age, marital
status and use ridiculous names like Baby,
Awesome ,Angel, Dude, Miss pee, boo ,
Man, blah blah!!
3. THE WITCHES: They always like updating
about death, bad news and sickness.
4. THE TRAVELERS: Today in America,
tomorrow heading to Italy or South Africa,
next All over The country! Are you a
minister for tourism?
5. WEATHER FORECASTERS: They update
mostly when it is raining, cold or hot e.g
‘I’m freezing’ etc
6. PREACHERS: This are mostly single men/
ladies who are looking for a spouse. They
act holy and write Bible verses only on
Sundays and Fridays or on festival day.
7. THE CONFUSED: They are married today,
engaged tomorrow, next day in an open
relationship, in a complicated relationship,
single or divorced.
8. THE FIGHTERS: All they do is to seek
trouble on people’s post, they comment
awkwardly in order to start a fight.
9. THE (I Too Know): They will always
complain that u’re always online, they will
say; are you jobless? Sometimes u can’t sop
wondering what they are doing online
themselves. Seriously, man get a life and
stop face booking.
10. THE DESPERATE. They are always
posting pictures of them in different cars
claiming car owners and always updating
themselves in different hotels and
eateries…damn…are they car dealer or
Hotel room attendant?
11. THE PEACE MAKERS: These people are
very friendly and they appreciate peoples
effort, they say thank you if they read your
post and smile.
Note: These people are usually very rare to
find.
12. AND FINALLY THE HATERS: They will
never like or comment on your posts except when they have something negative to say about you or your posts. Or u put up an update which says you are “sad, heartbroken or in Pain”.
I mean they wont even Like this post..
e.g that’s a stolen post WTF, did i say i own it?

Having a kid is like having a little broke friend

Wedding night confession
Husband_Sorry I slept with a lot of prostitutes
Wife_I said it!!! your face looks familiar
Husband fainted

if you are a DJ and you are not yet booked for any gig this December..🙄

My brother just leave that field and start a church