m I alone who feels guilty when a guy
send me a friend request while
I’m a guy too I even start zooming my pic
n see if I’m not a gay

I live in constant fear that someone might kidnap my ex.
she lives alone on St13 room 48 and she just won the lottery

Imagine dating a guy who doesn’t qualify for Airtime advance…. OMG!!

*Some ladies should put learner signs [L] at the
back of their high heels,
you can’t just be walking like a
newly born goat infront of me*

My neighbour’s Kia Picanto is stuck…..
Anyone with a FILA sneaker, please come and tow it

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding…
Older Woman: “Is there a problem, Officer?”
Officer: “Ma’am, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?”
Older Woman: “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”
Officer: “Don’t have one?”
Older Woman: “Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.”
Officer: “I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.”
Older Woman: “I can’t do that. I stole this car, and I killed and hacked up the owner.”
Officer: “You what?”
Older Woman: “His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see”
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer
slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: “Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of “her vehicle.
Older woman: “Is there a problem sir?”
Officer 2: “One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”
Older Woman: “Murdered the owner?”
Officer 2: “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.”
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: “Is this your car, ma’am?”
Older Woman: “Yes, here are the registration papers.”
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.”
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: “Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.”
Older Woman: “Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.”
Moral of the story? Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies!!!

To those girls who give their numbers to guys and then ignore their calls or block them .why did you give them your number in the first place?
This is the reason why guys give you babies and ignore you!!!

A patient went to his Doctor who said, “I have bad news and really bad news.” “What’s the bad news?” asked the patient. “You only have 24 hours to live” said the Doctor. “That’s terrible, what could the really bad news be?” The Doctor replied, “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you since yesterday!”

Her: i want us to be more than friends
Me: so now you want to be my cousin