I intentionally Put My Grandma’s Phone On Silent,I told Her To Bring Money To Buy Ringtone That Her Own Ringtone Has Finished

Me: send me your nudes
Her:(typing..)
Me: so you’re typing your nudes vhele vhele

“When you are in high School a guy from University takes your girlfriend.

You go to University a guy who is working takes your girlfriend, then you start working a guy with a car takes your girlfriend.

You buy a car a sugar daddy takes your girlfriend.

Now you become rich yourself and here comes a six-packed dude from University and he takes your girlfriend/wife…

Ladies, tell us, what exactly do you want from your men?”

If Lucky Is An English Name…🤔🤔🤔
How come we haven’t seen A white Guy Named Lucky😂😂😂…
Think About It..

Go To The Nearest Somalian Supermarket
And Make Him Angry , You Will Hear Him Saying
“Am Not Your Friend My Friend”

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am? ” “About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into Mc Donalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, “Oh you look about 29”. “I am actually 47! ” This makes him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, “I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age. ” As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, “OK, it’s done. You are 47. ” Stunned the man says, “That was brilliant! How did you do that? ” The old lady replies, “I was in line behind you at Mc Donalds. “

On judgement day I’ll be wearing a Zimbabwean flag to notify jesus that i cant go to hell twice

Her: bbe where are you?

Me: I am at taxi rank waiting for the taxi.

Her: make it fast bbe I missed you.

Me: ohk bbe I’ll wait little bit faster.

A Small Boy Is Sent To Bed By His Father…

Five Minutes Later

Son : ” Da_ad !!!”
Dad: ” what ?!”
Son: ” I’m Thirsty, can you bring me a drink of water ?”
Dad: ” (Out Of Anger) No you had your chance . Now Lights Out”

Five minutes later

Son:” Da-aaaad ”
Dad:” What ? What ?
Son:” I’m Thirsty… can I have a drink of Water ?”
Dad:”(Really pissed off ) I Told you No !! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you !”

Five Minutes Later

Son:” Daaad …”
Dad:” What ? ”
Son:” When You Come In To Spank Me , Can You bring me a drink of water ?