*Those of you who used to call the teacher when there was a free period*, *hope you’re working at world bank*…nonsense😂
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Some boys will be like”I don’t date fat ladies”
but they have fat mothers.
My brother don’t rush,
be humble like your dad.
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Mathematics clazz
Teacher: Clazz wat iz de 10-1
One student: teacher it’s 0
Teacher: faint
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When a woman says that she loves her children more than her husband
* She is clearly telling a lie *
She can leave her children with her neighbours
* But she will not leave her husband with a neighbour for a minute *
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Girl: my right leg is lunch my left leg is dinner,
what have will you have?
Boy: I will like to have snacks between lunch and dinner…
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I used to say” when I grow up I want to have beautiful kids”
until my mother said “i used to say the same thing but look at you”
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This 1 got me laughing.
Three pastors met & agreed to
sincerely tell each other their
problems which must be kept a
secret between the three of them.
The first pastor said; my problem
is money l do steal even from the
church offering. Please pray for
me. The second pastor; mine is
women. Whenever l see any woman
my desire will be to go to bed with
her, infact l have slept with most
of the church (female) members.
Turning to the third pastor to hear
his problem he started crying (it
took his friends some effort to
calm him). When they asked him
to continue, he was still crying, he
said my problem is gossiping,
when we leave this place everybody
will hear all what the two of you
have just told me. Please pray for
me! The two pastors fainted. Don’t
spoil the fun, pass it on to make
people laugh.
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A couple had a fight one night
when they were going to bed,
Husband Taunted:Good night mother of 3 kids.
Wife Replied:Good night Father of none
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My Brother, if she insists she will eat pizza or chocolate today, tell her to go read Numbers 9:11. The scripture is specific on the food to be taken on 14 February.
Num 9:11 In the second month on the fourteenth day in the evening they shall keep it; they shall eat it with unleavened bread and bitter herbs.
You get it? For today the laws of Moses will work
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When u are being beaten up in a fight and then someone shouts “let them fight”
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Bro u will think the devil is the referee
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Ladies, if you come across a man who is smart, hot, humble, educated, financially secure, passionate and patient, great at fixing things around the house and is not materialistic, good in bed, loves you like you are the only girl in the world and watches you whilst you are applying your make up while listening to every word you say…
Then, please be assured that the Weed you have just smoked is of SUPER QUALITY!
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Where ever I go, whatever I do, I carry a little part of you
with me right here in the center of me heart.
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Don’t Expect To Get What You Give
Because Not Everyone Has A Good
Heart Like You..
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What advice’s do you give your Girlfriend?
•°•
Me: “Bae never date married Men,
they don’t get satisfied until they take ARVs”.
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THE PREGNANT DEER – such a beautiful story !
In a forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth.
She finds a remote grass field near a strong-flowing river.
This seems a safe place.
Suddenly labour pains begin.
At the same moment, dark clouds gather around above & lightning starts a forest fire.
She looks to her left & sees a hunter with his bow extended pointing at her.
To her right, she spots a hungry lion approaching her.
What can the pregnant deer do?
She is in labour!
What will happen?
Will the deer survive?
Will she give birth to a fawn?
Will the fawn survive?
Or will everything be burnt by the forest fire?
Will she perish to the hunters’ arrow?
Will she die a horrible death at the hands of the hungry lion approaching her?
She is constrained by the fire on the one side & the flowing river on the other & boxed in by her natural predators.
What does she do?
She focuses on giving birth to a new life.
The sequence of events that follows are:
– Lightning strikes & blinds the hunter.
– He releases the arrow which zips past the deer & strikes the hungry lion.
– It starts to rain heavily, & the forest fire is slowly doused by the rain.
– The deer gives birth to a healthy fawn.
In our life too, there are moments of choice when we are confronted on αll sides with negative thoughts and possibilities.
Some thoughts are so powerful that they overcome us & overwhelm us.
Maybe we can learn from the deer.
The priority of the deer, in that given moment, was simply to give birth to a baby.
The rest was not in her hands & any action or reaction that changed her focus would have likely resulted in death or disaster.
Ask yourself,
Where is your focus?
Where is your faith and hope?
In the midst of any storm, do keep faith on the Creator always. He will never ever disappoint you. NEVER.
Remember, He neither slumbers nor sleeps…
One of the best I have read….
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Don’t give up in life; bcos life is like a dice. When you need six to start the game, it gives you one; which increases your pain. And when you need one to end the game, it gives you six which is now in vain. Life is very beautiful but so short, so never give up. But rather concentrate and make good use of what you have to get what you want.
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