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Your boyfriend charges his Samsung S7
with an infinix charger and you some how
think you’re irreplaceable.

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Someday you gonna miss my boring chats, my annoying voice, my corny jokes and my sweet smile.

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Today my mother In Law gave me a tea to drink then she winked at me.
Yaz Ive never been so scared like this to drink tea.

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My Room Mate Says she Lost R500.
What Makes Me Angry is that It Was R200 not R 500

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A boat was docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.

A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and… asked how long it took to catch them.

“Not very long” they answered in unison.

“Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?”

The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.

“But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

“We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.
We have a full life.”

The tourist interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”

“And after that?”

“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City!!! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”

“How long would that take?”

“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years.” replied the tourist.

“And after that?”

“Afterwards? Well my friend, that’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the tourist, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!”

“Millions? Really? And after that?” asked the fishermen.

“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”

“With all due respect sir, but that’s exactly what we are doing now. So what’s the point wasting twenty-five years?” asked the Mexicans.

And the moral of this story is:

Know where you’re going in life, you may already be there! Many times in life, money is not everything.

“Live your life before life becomes lifeless”

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While examining a female patient, Doctor tells
her:“Your heart, lungs, pulse, BP are fine. Now
let me see that cute little thing which gets you
ladies into all kinds of trouble.Woman
immediately started taking off her jeans and
underwear.Doc shocked said:“No! No! Please put
on your clothes. Just show me your tongue…

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Boy calls 911.
Boy: Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So whats your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.

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* TO ALL HUMANS *

1) My first restaurant => * my mother’s breast *
2) My first toilet => * my mother’s laps *
3) My first school => * Mom’s kitchen *
4) My first teacher => * my mother *
5) My first doctor => * it’s my mom *
6) My first thermometer => * my mother’s fingers *
7) My first friend => * it’s my mom *
8) My first dresser => * it’s my mom *
9) My first vehicle => * my mom’s back *
10) My first lawyer => * it’s my mom. *

Thank you mom for all you did for giving me life

* Long live to all mothers*

* _A mother can easily maintain 6 children, but it would be difficult for 6 children to maintain a mother?

* To all the moms of the world *

May God continue guiding and strengthening you and give you a Paradise on earth.

Pass it to every mummy

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You don’t know pain…. until you’ve had to force your own heart to
stop loving someone

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My girlfriend went to study abroad and came back with a baby who looks exactly like her. I asked her what that was all about and she said that the child was given to her as a token of appreciation for her good behavior in campus. She thinks am stupid, well am not. I know she probably stole that child or something.

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A good life is when you assume nothing,
do more, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot
and realize how blessed you are

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[Me in court]

Judge : “Did you kill this man?”

Ronnie : “No, a bullet killed him, you see a bullet is made of lead which comes from the ground.
The ground is part of nature so
this man died of natural causes…case closed!!!”

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One of the best things in life is seeing a smile on a persons face and
knowing that you put it there.

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I am not accepting friend request with no
profile picture ..if you’re afraid of your own
face . Then so am I

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