The way I’m minding my own business
I don’t even know who I’m dating

Poor Old Guy
A man in his 50’s buys a beautiful pair of shoes on his way home from work. When he gets home he asks his wife if she notices anything different about him. She says no. At bed time he gets completely naked except for his new shoes and again asks his wife if she notices anything different about him. She says well let’s see you’ve got the same old useless cock hangin limp as usual.

He says look at where it’s “pointing”. I bought new shoes!

His wife then says “you should have bought a new hat!

A good wife will bring her husband’s phone in a tray
when it is ringing.

Kilms was once robbed by armed robbers, the bag 💼 which he was holding was taken by them. After the robbers had left, he was just laughing while he was on his way back home. Senzo saw him laughing, thinking he was mad. He asked him:
.
.
SENZO: Why are you laughing? What’s funny? 😒
.
KILMS: I was robbed by armed robbers 😁
.
SENZO: Is that why you are laughing? 😏
.
KILMS: Not just that, they took my bag 😅
.
SENZO: But that’s not funny bro 😑
.
KILMS: I’m laughing because the bag which I was holding is containing fresh “Shit” 💩 of mine which I wanted to go and throw away, so I guess they helped me 😂

Me: can I buy you a drink??
Her: no alcohol is bad for my legs
Me: do they swell
Her: they open up easily
Me: thats the plan

There was this guy at a bar , just
looking at his drink . He stays like
that for half an hour,
Then, this big trouble-making
truck driver step next to him ,
takes the drink from the guy and
just drink it all, The poor man
started crying. The truck driver
says, “Come on man, i was just
joking. Here, I will buy you
another drink, i just can’t stand
to see a man cry.
“NO it is not that.This day is the
worst day of my life, first i fall
asleep and go late my office, my
boss outrageous fires me, when i
left my building to my car, i found
out it was stolen, the police said
they can do nothing . I got a cab
to return home, and when i left
it, i remembered i forgot my
wallet and credit cards there, the
cab driver just drove away.
I got home and found my wife in
bed with a gardener. I left home
to this bar, and when i was
thinking about putting an end to
my life, you showed up, UYANGIPHAPHELA and u
drink my poison…

You post me, I post you
You act single, I act single
You claim me, I claim you.
You play games, I play games too
You delete shit , I delete shit too
You show, no interest, I put no effort
Put me second, I’ll put you last
Love is war .

Work hard until you get rich to the extent that
when you see a cockroach in your house,
Instead of killing it.You just move out&buy new house..