Nowadays It’s Hard To Tell Whether A Girl
Is Walking With Her Father Or Bae..
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Why did I get divorced?
Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said.She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.
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Touching your pockets and not feeling
your phone shocks more than electricity..!
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When you are bored just think about a few things that don’t make sense …like ;
🤔
1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
🤔
2. Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?
🤔
3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
🤔
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn’t it be called double V?
🤔
5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
🤔
6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
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7. The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims”
🤔
8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
🤔
9. If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them.
🤔
Wisdom will kill me one of these days.
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The moment you tell a lady that you love her,she becomes cashless, foodless,rentless and all other forms of lessness.
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Doctors be like
€££¥!^¿~~ `•>pd$^^^;:”‘_₩£€’
Go to the pharmacy and buy those pills
Those guys have got their own handwriting
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You’re not afraid to love, you’re afraid of not being loved back.
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Money Doesn’t Change People,
it Only Unlocks Characters That Were Jailed By Poverty.
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A pastor was casting an evil spirit from a man and this was the conversion between them
Pastor: what do you want from this man?
leave this man alone.
Evil spirit: I want this man to win the national
lottery which cost 1,000,000 billion this
midnight.
Pastor lowered the microphone and
whispered
Pastor: get out from him and enter through me
Just share…don’t laugh alone😀😀😀😀☺😂
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Is not like I don’t like giant people but any time I see them ,them remind me of one ugly story in the bible, if ur read ur bible well u will know the of giant people in the bible
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Its only black people who wud go to the sea
and say they are going to wash bad luck
but still bring back 2ltrs of the same water back home
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Everyone says that love hurts, but that’s not true.❌
~•~
✔ Loneliness hurts.💔
✔ Rejection hurts.💔
✔ Losing someone hurts.💔
~•~
Everyone confuse these things with love, but in reality, Love♥ is the only thing in world that covers up all the pain and make us feel wonderful again…
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A Chinese dude walks into a restaurant and wants to order a chicken but unfortunately he can’t remember what “Chicken ” is called in English.
.
So the dude saw the other dude at the table next to him with a plate of 4 boiled eggs on it.
.
Then he points to the plate of 4 boiled eggs and says to the English waiter”Arrange me their mother”…
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I was sitting at KFC enjoying my hot wings…a
well dressed man, caring a bag, walked in. In
the
mean time a woman walked in saying to the
man… Woman: My husband just died I have no
money to feed my kids…without no hesitation
the man open the bag and gave the woman R50
000 in cash. Me sitting there i was like wow this
guy is truly a good guy. Few seconds later a boy
came in sobbing and crying saying to the guy
Boy: Sir I’m an orphan…can you give me R10M
so that I can start my own business …without
no
hesitation again…the man opened a bag and
wrote a cheque of R10M and gave it to the boy.
Me sitting there I was like F***k it this is my
moment…this man was sent to me …out of
Nowhere I started sobbing and crying deeply I
left my hot wings run to the man kneeled while
gripping him by his trouser and said to him…
Me: Sir I have a wife and 6 children…and im
unemployed…can you give me R20M so that I
can start my own business too…some few
second later I heard people laughing from
outside…and the director said cut…cut…cut
…cut….sorry brother we are shooting a
movie.
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It is better to be hated for who you are
than to be loved for what you are not.
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There Was A Flood In A Village.
One Man Said To Everyone: “I’ll Stay! God Will Save Me!”
The Flood Got Higher And A Boat Came And The Man In It Said: “Come On Mate, Get In!”
“No, God Will Save Me!” Replied The Man.
The Flood Got Very High Now And The Man Had To Stand On The Roof Of His House.
A Helicopter Soon Came And The Man Offered Him Help.
“No, God Will Save Me!” He Said
Eventually He Died By Drowning.
He Got By The Gates Of Heaven And He Said To God: “Why Didn’t You Save Me?”
God Replied: “For Goodness Sake! I Sent A Boat And A Helicopter. What More Do You Want!“
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