December vibes be like:👇
.
Me:”hello babe how are you?”😊
.
Palesa:”eish…I’m fine just that my battery is low,can’t talk now,😒call me back in January neh babe?
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Sub Categories
One Man can control 16 Cows with 1 Stick 😎 Can I go deeper?
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My brother if she doesn’t disturb you 🤯, annoys you 🤦 or give you any headache🤒 then she is not the one🤭….real girlfriends💏 act like Demons🧟🤞 some even act like witches from Malawi.
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Welcome to SA where guys criticize Gays online
but sleep with them offline..
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Respect is the most important element of our personality.
It like an investment,
whatever we give to others,
it will return to us with profit ….
Good morning
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Madness is when u know its cold…
But u take out all ur clothes just 2 wear a condom
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Find your birth month, day and year
and then form a sentence
.
Jan : I need
Feb : I killed
Mar : I slept with
Apr : I raped
May : I slapped
Jun : I hugged
Jul : I played with
Aug : I jumped on
Sep : I got drunk with
Oct : I spit on
Nov : I kissed
Dec : I love
.
SELECT A DAY
01- Someone
02- a donkey
03- a monkey
04- a baboon
05- an elephant
06- my cousin
07- my girlfriend/boyfriend
08- Ronaldo
09- Nicky Minaj
10- a clown
11- a drunkard
12- a virgin
13- a hobo
14- a genius
15- a gorilla
16- Chris Brown
17- a pig
18- a model
19- Nobody
20- my dog
21- my first love
22- my ex
23- an old man
24- a dinosaur
25- Kim Kardashian
26- a prostitute
27- the lecturer
28- my best friend
29- a cat
30- an old friend
31- an idiot
.
Select the year of birth…
1980- in a bar
1981- in a car park
1982- in a dirty pond
1983- in an ocean
1984- in a police van
1985- in a garage
1986- in a forest
1987- in a swimming pool
1988- in a toilet
1989- in a garden
1990- in a hotel room
1991- in a bus
1992- in a taxi
1993- on my bed
1994- in the river
1995- in our room
1996- on the playground
1997- with out my pants
1998- on the house roof
1999- with my eyes open
2000- but I’m lying
2001- in the grave yard
2002- in the bathroom
2003- always
2004- today
2005- on my birthd
Me: I raped a gorilla in the toilet.
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Says Be who you are, and say what you feel,
because those that matter won’t mind,
and those that mind, won’t matter.
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Pls am very sorry for not updating regularly
this days, it’s because my iPhone 6 had a
problem and my iPad battery is dead, my sister is with
my Samsung galaxy note 4. Am just here at home
sitting alone since my parents travelled to
London. I would have loved to Skype with you but I
misplaced my Apple laptop power pack, so I have to hit
south Africa to get a new one. I wanted to visit the
mall tonight but my aunt went out with my bugatti
and my junior brother is out with the 2014 range
rover, the Toyota highlander had a little problem, the
tyre of Honda CRV is flat and I hate driving Lexus jeep
at night, I tried calling our driver to come and
pick me with my mums Ferrari but I don’t have any
credit , so can you please send me Load
so that I can call him plz?
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Little Johnny walks into his mother’s room and catches her topless.
”Mommy, Mommy, what are those?” he says pointing to her chest.
“Well, son,” she says, These are Mommies balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven.
”Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied.
Two days later while his mother is making tea, Johnny rushes into the kitchen.
“Mommy, mommy, Aunt Eliza is dying!”
“What do you mean?” says his mother.
“Well she’s out in the garden shed, lying on the floor.
Both of her balloons are out, Dad’s blowing them up, and she keeps yelling, ”God, I’m coming! God, I’m coming!”
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*After staging a coup in my house, I went to the sitting room to announce to my kids that my husband was now under bedroom arrest. “Your dad is safe and sound and his security is guaranteed. he remains the father and first in command of this house. However, I am only targeting the FEMALE criminals SURROUNDING HIS BONUS*
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A Lecturer Teaching Medical Was Tutoring A Class On Observation.
He Took Out A Jar Of Yellow-Coloured Liquid. This, He Explained, Is Urine.
To Be A Doctor, You Have To Be Observant Two Color, Smell, Sight And Taste.
After Saying This, He Dipped His Finger Into The Jar And Put It Into His Mouth.
His Class Watched On In Amazement, Most, In Disgust!
But Being The Good Students That They Were, The Jar Was Passed,
And One By One, They Dipped One Finger Into The Jar,
And Then Put It Into The Jar And Then Put It Into Their Mouth.
After The Last Std. Was Done, The Lecturer Shook His Head!
The Lecturer: “If Any Of You Had Been Observant, You Would Have Noticed,
That To Put My Second Finger Into The Jar And My Third Finger Into My Mouth.“
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I wish I can explain to you how I feel
because every night before I go to sleep.
You’re all I think about.
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My uncle wanted to download facebook
into his phone so he asked me to help.
Joh when I check the download history, I
came across bo “facebugu” “feisbugu”
“feicebugu”
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Dear Best friends, all those times we spent together, they are unforgettable and priceless.
I love you
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The biggest Mistake a woman can ever make is to love
and give the wrong man a child. Just wish it could Stop.
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