When a girl says “tell me more about yourself?”, she’s asking if u are working or driving, not this nonsense of “I’m a caring and loving guy”.

A Guy gets out of lift on 7th floor instead of 9th floor.

He says- I was so busy checking messages on my whatsapp…without realising, I went into the neighbour’s house and sat on their sofa.

The lady of the house was glued to the TV… watching a series…She gave me tea without looking at me.

When I started drinking Tea, I looked up and saw the lady’s husband entering the house….looking into his mobile.

He saw me and said, “sorry” and went out of the house !!!

People who buy a car and don’t post it on Facebook you are too matured but as for me when I buy a car, I will not only post it, but also park it in your timeline

My Doctor Told me that Im Left with 1 Month To Live .
I Killed him and the Judge gave me 25 years, problem solved

How to TALK 👍*
Talk to *Mother* _lovingly,_
Talk 2 *Father* _respectfully,_
Talk 2 *Brothers* _heartfully,_
Talk 2 *Sisters* _affectionately,_
Talk 2 *Children* _enthusiastically,_
Talk 2 *Relatives* _empathetically,_
Talk 2 *Friends* _jovially,_
Talk 2 *Officials* _politely,_
Talk 2 *Vendors* _strictly,_
Talk 2 *Customers* _honestly,_
Talk 2 *Workers* _courteously,_
Talk 2 *Politicians* _carefully,_
Talk 2 *GOD* _silently,_
Talk to *WIFE*
~no no~ ……
*KEEP QUIET & LISTEN ONLY…!!!*

Ladies when u meet your next Boyfriend love him
with all your Lungs cause your heart has suffered a lot.

When your wife keeps her head on your chest and slowly asks
“Dear do have any women in your life other than me”?
Remember your answer is not important at this time
Important is your heartbeat. Keep your heart beat in control
So be careful

After making love with a sugar mama then she fetch her old album then be like: you see this one I was doing Standard 8 and this one its Sarah it was my friend but she has already passed away.