I went 2 see a friend from a very rich family. D maid approached Mε̲̣̣̣̥ & asked.
MAID: What would u lyk to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: Tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea?
ME: Ceylon tea pls.
MAID: how do u want it, black or white?
ME: White. …
MAID: Milk or fresh cream?
ME: With milk.
MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would u lyk it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: Abeg, forget abt d tea, jst give me a glass of water…
MAID: Mineral, tap or still water?
ME: Mineral water.
MAID: flavored or non flavored?
ME: Entlek get me an empty glass

Never force children to Pray😶. At
dinner, a little boy was ordered to lead in prayer🙄…
BOY: But I don’t know how to pray💁‍♂️
DAD: Just pray for your family
members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc😊
BOY: “Dear Lord😊” he started,
Thank u for our visitors and
their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream.🤚
Bless them so they won’t come
again😏. Forgive our neighbor’s son, who removed my sister’s clothes and wrestled with her on her bed😔.This coming Christmas, pliz send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy’s Blackberry😓 and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom’s
room when daddy is at work😕😖 °°°AMEN😌°°°°
…………………………
Dinner was cancelled

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and 60 inch plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.

I once blocked my mother’s slap👋
after that she told all the relatives that l was tryin to kill her

Poor Old Guy
A man in his 50’s buys a beautiful pair of shoes on his way home from work. When he gets home he asks his wife if she notices anything different about him. She says no. At bed time he gets completely naked except for his new shoes and again asks his wife if she notices anything different about him. She says well let’s see you’ve got the same old useless cock hangin limp as usual.

He says look at where it’s “pointing”. I bought new shoes!

His wife then says “you should have bought a new hat!

Asking someone to drive your sports car is just like
asking someone to kiss your girlfriend..

You know girls…You can never satisfy them because you can just rob a bank for her and she goes like:
“Why did you rob CAPITEC instead of FNB?”

Witchcraft is when you think that your boyfriend is loyal but
reality is girls just don’t want him..!

My Ex Texted me “Wish you were here”
She texts me this everytime she walks through the cementry….

Breaking News!!!

A nine year old girl has dissappeared after
using a moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger