Father Was Telling The Definition Success To His Son.

Father: “Son, Success Is When Your Signature Turns Into An Autograph.”

Son: “No Dad, Success Is When My Signature Turns Into Black Label Or Chivas Regal.”

Cheers To This Boy

Two friends, Jim and Paul are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.

While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc.

While this is going on, Jim slips something into Paul’s hand. Without looking down, Paul whispers, “What is this?”

Jim replies, “It’s that $50 I owe you.”

I applied for a new job as a server at a retirement home. When asked why I left my last employment I replied, ‘Yes, sir, the wages were good, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked.’
They played a game they call BRIDGE, and every night a lot of folks were there. As I was about to bring refreshments, I heard a man say ‘Lay down and let’s see what you got.’ Another man said ‘I got strength, but not much length.’
And then another man said to a lady, ‘Take your hand off my trick.’ I pretty near dropped dead just when a lady answered, ‘You forced me. You jumped me twice when you didn’t have the strength for one good raise’. Another lady was talking about protecting her honor.
And, two ladies were talking and one said, ‘Now it’s my turn to play with your husband while you play with mine.’
Well, I just got my hat and coat and as I was leaving I hope to die if one them didn’t say, ‘Well, I guess we can go home, this is our last rubber!