Teacher: class choose between money and brain
Themba: I’d go for money
Teacher: I’d go for brain
Themba: well, everybody goes for what he doesn’t have
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“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone.
Only through our love and friendship
can we create the illusion for the moment
that we’re not alone.
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l went to police station to certify some copies, while I was there I saw a picture of Sylvester being posted on the notice board written “WANTED”
Me : officer, are you absolutely sure you want this man?
Cop: (in aghast) err of course. Yeah
Me : then why didn’t you arrest him when you took him that picture?
These cops are really stupid….
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Noko: Uncle am hungry😔
🧓:Dons hi hungry am Uncle Dons😊
🧑Noko: am serious🤨
🧓Dons: nope u r hungry😏
🧑Noko: u r joking😒
🧓Dons : no am Uncle Dons
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A police officer pulls this guy over for speeding.
As the officer approaches the car, he can see that the guy is very anxious about something.
“Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?”
“Yes, officer… I know I was speeding — but it is a matter of life or death.”
“Oh, really? How’s that?”
“There’s a naked woman waiting for me at home.”
“I don’t see how that is a matter of life or death.”
“If I don’t get home before my wife does, I’m a dead man.”
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Mama: Baby say ”mama”
Baby: M… Ma–
Mama: Omg you can do it baby! Just say ”ma…ma”
Baby: M…Ma…Mark Zuckerberg.
Kaway- kaway sa nasendang ng “I’m mark….” Fake new yan mga tol haha
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*THERE IS TOMORROW*
Whenever you are dealing with people, you must always remember that there is tomorrow and you might need them tomorrow.
You may end up needing help from the people who are asking for your help today so help them.
Life is like a moving wheel, sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down. Sometimes we destroy the bridges that we might need to help us cross back tomorrow.
Sometimes we treat people as though there is never going to be tomorrow. We sometimes act as though we will never need help from any one. Remember there’s tomorrow.
Joseph helped the cupbearer in prison and later the cupbearer connected Joseph with Pharaoh. Imagine how Portiphar’s wife felt when she heard that Joseph was now the Governor of Egypt after she had falsely accused him. The brothers who sold Joseph away ended up being fed by him. Don’t ever think of going to the extreme with your offenders, they might be rescuers tomorrow.
Always remember there is tomorrow and it will surely come.
The little help you give to people today, will profit you tomorrow.
May the good Lord touch your heart to live your life as if there is tomorrow.
*Good Morning!!!*
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If she refuses to take you to her parents
Impregnate her.. Then Relax..
Her parents will bring her to you😂😂😂
Thank me later…..
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Romancing a slim girl is like arranging firewood
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Education is education it has nothing to do with keys and locks
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I CAN’T WAIT 2 MARRY SO DAT I CAN BE STEALING MEAT FRM D POT ND MY WIFE WE BLAME IT ON D CHILDREN
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I just created a Facebook account with a false profile picture of a beautiful lady. Now my father sent me a friend request and he’s telling me that he is single and has no children.
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True love is when you don’t need to care about
how you look anymore.
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Teacher Ask A Question To Santa.
Teacher: “What Is 5 Plus 4?”
Santa: “9”
Teacher: “And What Is 4 Plus 5?”
Santa: “Are You Trying To Fool Me, You’ve Just Twisted The Figure, The Answer Is 6.“
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INTERVIEWER: whats your name?
ME: Hired
INTERVIEWER :You’re hired?😳
ME:Thank you sir
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I was mugged by a thief last night on my way home.
Pointing a knife at me … He asked me “your money or your life!”
I told him I am Married… so I have no money and no life…
We hugged and cried together.
It was a beautiful moment.
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