I’m sorry to say this but Girls are slowly replacing swimming pools

Girlfriend:Can I have your pic.
Me:Check my profile pic.
Girlfriend:There’s a car.
Me:Open the car u will see me sitting in the car.

I wonder what old people are doing on Facebook.
When they are here, then who is getting the
heart attacks and strokes?
People should know their place.

*MATHEMATICS EXAM PAPER*
*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*
*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*
2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*
*1.* You are a married man and you have dated somebody’s wife for *two* years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow. eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*
*2.* You bought a phone for your friend’s wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*
*3. For Men* You’re dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members. *(5 Mks)*
*4.* You are whatsapping and face booking other peoples’ wives yet you don’t want to see your wife on social networks. Calculate the Percentage Error in your Thinking Capacity. *(20 marks)*
*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than $500. Your daughter who is awaiting A level results is using iPhone 6s and Samsung Galaxy worth $800 each. Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. *(20 marks)*
*6. *For ladies* You’re a married woman and you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use the law of diminishing returns to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. *(20 marks)*
*7.* You can’t give your wife $2for sitshebo, but you spend over $20 in bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take π=3.142 *(20 marks)*
ALL THE BEST

Her clothes may look nice & stunning, but her panties might have holes..!

If Your Girlfriend Has A Lot Of Males “Cousin”
Trust Me You’re Also Her Cousin.

Stop posting your problems on facebook and
start drinking alcohol just like the rest of us🙌

There are some ladies who won’t cheat or worry you
about money but their stubbornness😡😠
will frustrate your life..!

Everything happens for a reason.
Sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions.

Sometimes I use big words that I don’t understand
so I can sound more photosynthesis

Some people write Xmas because they can’t write creasmas.
We see you.