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I was born without my permission
All i wanted to be was a memory card

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The best gift you can give to someone is your time.
Because you give them somothing you can never get back.

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MTN is not joking nowadays,
When you don’t have airtime or data,
they’ll deduct your battery

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You Spent The Whole Day With Your Bae
Then She Updates a Status Saying
“What A Boring Day”

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My girlfriend is visit me today….what did i cook for him without meet🍗🍖 because she is a Vegetable she don’t eat meat….any receipt please

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I have never made it to a profile pic stage
in a relationship and you?

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Stop making people feel ashamed for not
going to church. Respect other people’s
beliefs and laziness.

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Mom: Go Wash The Dishes
Me: WTF
Mom: Excuse Me
Me: Where’s The Fatuku

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95% Of Children in S.A are Fatherless
Because Of Thier Mother’s Behaviour

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– Friends : ☺ You Had Too Much To Drink 😊 , So Tonight Slow Down 🙏
– Me : 😠 All Of First 😡 , Business Your Mind

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Familie*The Kasama Brothel*

The madam opened the brothel door in Kasama and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties.

“May I help you sir?” she asked.

“I want to see Mwansa,” the man replied.

“Sir, Mwansa is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the madam.

“No, I must see Mwansa,” he replied.
Just then, Mwansa appeared and announced to the man she charged K5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand Kwacha and gave it to Mwansa, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Mwansa. Mwansa explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive.
There were no discounts. The price was still K5000. Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Mwansa, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Mwansa and they went upstairs.

After their session, the man asked Mwansa to sign a receipt that she had received K15000. She was astonished nevertheless signed on the receipt and said to the man, “No one has ever been with me three nights in a row and for sure this is the first time anyone has asked me to sign a receipt. Where are you from?”

The man replied, “Chipata.”

“Really”, she said. “I have family in Chipata.”

“I know.” the man said.
“Your sister died, and I’m her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver you K15,000 inheritance in person.”

Three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Being screwed by a lawyer
3. Wise men come from the east.
********************
If you have any question ask me
Another wiseman
😂😂😂😂

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“Sometimes you have to lie.
But to yourself you must always
tell the truth.”
— Louise Fitzhugh

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Family is like a music. Some high notes ,
some low notes but always a beautiful song.

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Perfect boyfriend : Does not drink, does not smoke,
does not cheat and also Does not exist

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Hey guys,

Please be informed that somebody is trying to spread a dangerous rumour that I have stopped DRINKING alcohol.

I therefore categorically state here that at no point did I ever attempt to stop. In fact, I have never contemplated or dreamt about it.

These are lies fabricated by my enemies who want to tarnish my good reputation by preventing my family and friends like you from offering me beers during this festive period.

I beg of you all to stay calm and vigilant while I investigate this BLACKMAIL.

I will keep you all updated

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