Hello Ladies, stop viewing our profile pictures before replying our chats, some of us hav ugly pictures wit handsome bank account

From 16 December to 1st January,
if your parents don’t allow you to go party
just pretend to be sick and inbox us
we will come fetch you with an Ambulance

Show your Mom Love while you still have Her.
Once you lose your Mom you’ve lost your whole Family.

My fiance Is so Dumb yaz😒✋ ..she said she’s wearing a “swimming pool” instead of “swimming question”
Should I send her back to school?😂😂

Indian movies be like:
Voice:I luv u
Lips: let’s go & open a shop in South Africa

I tried to drown my troubles the other night
but the wife doesn’t like swimming.

Father: Dude, why did you break up with her? She was a good woman..!?
•°•
Son: She’s a murderer, she killed a spider in my room. How can I date someone who ruined my chances of becoming spiderman..

Today guys, I was sitting next to this other beautiful girl in the taxi, so I didn’t even know how to approach her as she was wearing a GUCCI t-shirt & iPhone X on her hand, & remember I’m using Mobicel R1, So I just decided to set the alarm for 5 min, I did that, after 5 min my phone started to ring, I pretended as it’s a call , I started to talk , ” hey man , are you done washing my BMW I8 & my Mercedes G63″I said, I pretended as I’m listening ” ohh man how can you wash my Nissan , but anyway it’s fine, I’ll use that one, don’t forget to clean even inside”I said , “Goodbye”…So when I was just finished talking , that Lady whom I was sitting next to , she just said “hello(smilingly)”, I replied back ” HELLO “, in my heart I knew that I’ve won her …Then she said to me “here is your battery, it fell when you were removing your phone from your pocket”, I shouted “taxi driver, drop me here” , I got off from that taxi

URGENT please:
I’m looking for 17 people to come into my place,
I want them to come and watch a movie with me.. I wanted to watch it alone
But the movie is for 18 and Above

Who Else Says “Let Me Tell The Truth”
And Lie Even Worse

After a few drinks i become very alert.
When i cross the road:
I look left and right for cars and bikes, look up for aeroplanes, look down for bombs, look back for kidnappers, hold my bag tight and watch the person beside me then walk zigzag to avoid bullets