December Is More Enjoyable
When You Are Single.
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The most beautiful people
in the world are not those
with attractive faces or skinny body,
but those who know
how to respect the beauty of others.
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Men who date slim
girls should be
rewarded…it’s not
easy to be sleeping
with plywoods
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Teacher: whoever answers my next question,
can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
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I want to be dead forever.
Unmade. Unborn. Erased. Annihilated retroactively.
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*Africans are difficult to understand*
I tried several times to warn passersby not to urinate at the corner of my wall fence but they never stopped. I decided to write on the wall: *ANYONE FOUND URINATING HERE WILL BE PROSECUTED*, but the vice continued more. Then I decided to write: *PLEASE URINATE HERE WE NEED HUMAN URINE FOR RITUALS*.
This time not only have they stopped urinating on the wall but have abandoned the footpath as well.
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Did You Notice That Women In Serious Relationships Know
How To Draw Eyebrows
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Remember your salary must last you the
whole three months of January
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*Those of you who used to call the teacher when there was a free period*, *hope you’re working at world bank*…nonsense😂
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Stop this thing of asking people to get Married because their age mates are married. Even you, some of your age mates have died but nobody has asked you to die..
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Doctor : what is your problem .
Patient: I have a bad headache with mary and 99 others
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A female class teacher was
having a problem
with a boy in her class in Grade
3. The boy
said, “Madam, I should be in
Grade 4. I am
smarter than my sister and she’s
in Grade
4”. The Madam had heard
enough and took
the boy to the principal. The
principal
decided to test the boy with
some questions
from Grade 4.
PRINCIPAL: What is 3+3?
BOY: 6.
PRINCIPAL: 6+6.
BOY: 12.
The boy got all the questions
right. The
principal told the Madam to send
the boy to
Grade 4 immediately. The Madam
decided to
ask her own questions and the
principal
agreed.
MADAM: What does a cow have 4
of that I
have only 2?
BOY: Legs.
MADAM: What is in your trousers
that I don’t
have?
BOY: Pockets.
MADAM: What starts wit a C and
ends with T,
is hairy, oval, delicious and
contains thin,
whitish liquid?
BOY: Coconut.
MADAM: What goes in hard and
then comes
out soft and sticky?
*The principal’s eyes opened
really wide, but
before he could stop the answer,
the boy was taking charge*
BOY: Bubble gum.
MADAM: You stick your pole
inside me. You
tie me down to get me up, I get
wet before
you do.
BOY: Tent.
*The principal was looking
restless*
MADAM: A finger goes in me. You
fiddle with
me when you are bored. The
best man
always has me first?.
BOY: Wedding ring.
MADAM: I come in many sizes.
When I’m not
well, I Drip. When you blow me,
you feel
good?
BOY: Nose.
MADAM: I have a stiff shaft. My tip
penetrates, I come with a quiver.
BOY: Arrow.
PRINCIPAL: OMG.
MADAM: What starts with ‘F’ and
ends wit a
‘K’ and if you don’t get it, you
have to use
your hand?
BOY: Fork.
MADAM: What is it that all men
have, it’s
longer in some men than others,
the Pope
doesn’t use it and a man gives it
to his wife
after marriage?
BOY: Surname.
PRINCIPAL: Ohooo jeeees..!!!!!
MADAM: What part of the man
has no bone
but has muscles with a lot of
veins like
pumpkin and is responsible for
making
love?
BOY: Heart.
PRINCIPAL: Holy shi………..Eeeeeh!!..
The principal took a calm breath and
said to the Madam,
“Send this ”BLOODY BOY” to the
university…
Even I myself got all the questions wrong
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A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up.As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. ‘Wow, this is great,’ he thought.
It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
“Hey,” he called. “I’m a rabbit from the laboratory and I’ve just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?”
“Yes. Come and join us,” they cried.
Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. I tasted so good. “What else do you wild rabbits do?” he asked.
“Well,” one of them said. “You see that field there? It’s got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.”
This, he couldn’t resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful.
Later, he asked them again, “What else do you do?”
“You see that field there? It’s got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well.”
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. “Is there anything else you guys do?” he asked.
One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly.
“There’s one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there, “he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. “They’re girls. We make love to them. Go and try it.”
Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning s****ing his little heart out until, completely spent, he staggered back over to the guys.
“That was fantastic,” he panted.
“So are you going to live with us then?” one of them asked.
“I’m sorry, I had a great time but I can’t.”
The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised.
“Why? We thought you liked it here.”
“I do,” our friend replied. “But I must get back to the laboratory. I’m dying for a cigarette!”
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Dating a married man is like driving a
government car it will never be yours
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Dear Tsonga People,
Please stop calling Johannesburg “Joni” , you don’t hear us calling Giyani “Giyi” or Malamulele “Mali”.
Regards
Joburgers
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Kids Of 2years Can Now Unlock Phones And Play Candy Crush.
At That Age I Was Chewing Sand🙆
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