Christmas is coming. Learn to forgive and forget ❤️
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Sometimes you need to run away to see who will follow you.
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You only become successful when you help others to become Successful
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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
“Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.”
The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”
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True Friends look at you with no judgment in their eyes,
they know you’ve made mistakes
but they accept you for being human
and help you right the wrongs.
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Tourist: can you show me the way to the Mortuary?
Me: oh!! That’s easy, Just close your eyes and cross the road.
You’ll be there in no time🚶
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When a girl is so good in bed but very lazy to do house chores and your relatives start complaining about her.
“I be like ‘You guys don’t know her very well”
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9 months in your mom,s womb just to wear 5 roses jean…!!?😒
.
What a shame…!!
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The teacher is droning away in the classroom
when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row.
The teacher shouts to the sleeping students neighbor,
“Hey wake that student up!”
The neighbor yells back,
“You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”
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Yesterday i dreamt eating 2kg of marshmallows,
Today when I woke up i noticed that my pillow is missing.
*
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A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found that it is under normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
“Breast fed,” the woman replied.
“Well, take off your clothes,” the doctor asked. She did. He started to examine her breasts. He pressed them many times in different places.
Then he asked her to get dressed and he said, “Of course, the baby is underweight! You don’t have any milk.”
“I know,” she said, “I’m his grandmother, but I’m glad I came.
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December is time for family.
So if you see your boyfriend with another woman
it could be his cousin or his uncle’s daughter.
Are together Ladies?
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I Told my uncle that I see myself wen I luk at him.
I don’t know why he smiled becoz there’s honestly too much Vaseline on his face
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Kids born in the 2000’s don’t know Sh*t😒..
I remember way back in the apartheid
era Facebook and smart phones were only for white people😮..
us blacks we had nothing😭😭
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I’m not mad that my girl cheated on me. I hate the fact that she said that guy was her uncle, I used to call that nigga “malome” when we were in his car
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The saddest part of reality is that we love those who leave us an leave those who love us.
Hope you enjoyed your Valentine’s day.
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