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I will never lie again.
Today I was coming back from church, in
the kombi
there sat a very pretty girl. All the guys in the
bus were
staring at her. Some of them passed their
destinations
without knowing. As for me, I was very
proud of myself because I sat next to her. I
did all the signs I could to make her feel my
presence
but all in vain. An idea came to my mind. I
took my
phone and dialed a fake number as guys
always
do to attract girls’ attention.
Me: Hello Sam, I’m calling to tell you that I
can’t make it today because I’ve just
received a call from our CEO asking me to
replace him at
a meeting bcz he is not yet back in tge
country. Pls tell my brother to use my Range
Rover 2017 to pick my mum from her
dentist’. I will be home late. Thanks Sam. I
will Sam. Once again, Thanks.
All this while, the girl
was looking at me. I said in my heart that
she would fall for me if I spoke to her now ..
Me: Hi baby, y r u looking at me like that? R u
surprised?
Girl: Pls pick up your phone battery. It fell
when u
were taking your phone out of your
pocket…..
I couldn’t raise my head till I got off the
kombi Happy new month.

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My sister if you don’t want to work hard,
you will fight for a man until you die..!

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Cant wait to have my own Home
so i can watch P*rn with Full Volume on a big screen Tv

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No woman can control me
no woman can control me
but when she says go lock the door first
you fly like a bird

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Life goes on.
Don’t waste it for someone who left you behind.
Enjoy your life for someone better will come

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I Sent A Text To My Wife Last Night: “Hi Babe I’m At The Pub With Some Lads, Please Try And Wash All My Dirty Clothes And Make Sure You Prepare My Favourite Dish Before I Return.”

I Sent Another Text: “Babe I Forgot To Tell You That I Got An Increase In My Salary At The End Of The Month I’m Getting You A New Car”

She Text Back In One Second: “OMG Really?”

I Replied: “No I Just Wanted To Make Sure You Got My First Message.“

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Tuning out the world regularly –
To go spend time in silence, or in a quiet place,
is sacred and a part of self-care.

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Wife Is Dreaming. Wakes Up And Shouts
“Quick My Husband’s Back!”
His Husband Wakes Up And
Jumps Out The Window!

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3 common lies from guys:
I’m sorry,
I love you,
I won’t hurt u.

3 common lies from girls:
I’m fine,
I’m not mad at u,
I don’t love you.

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[Dear Ladies]
As a Woman You Can’t Be Ugly. It’s Either You Are Not Dressing Well or You Are Not Bathing. There Are NO Ugly Women..!

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Girls will always be expecting a reply, even
if their last message wasn’t replyable you
better think of a reply or start a new
conversation

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Dear Girls…
If a guy tells you
👇
“Come to my house 🏠 I won’t Touch 🙌 you”
.
Tell him ” Come to Shoprite I won’t pick anything

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I used to be so afraid of losing ppl, until i realized most of them were never really down for me in the first place. Even tho my loyalty & love for them ran deep, they could careless. So instead of being afraid of losing them, i fell back & watched them lose me… Wow, growth

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I wish to wish you the wish you wished to wish. But if you wish the wish witches wish, i won’t wish the wish you wish to wish.

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The way TUT students look at us when
they are In a bus
You’d swear they are Real Madrid entering
the stadium

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She say she wanna grow up to drive a plane.
She wanna be a captain. Wow!!😱 Drive? Plane? Captain?😂
What kind of nonsense is that?🤷🏾‍♂️😂

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