I thought I have seen everything in life until I saw a 16yrs old boy went to a bar and
drank 4 bottles of Guinness. He got up to leave and the barman asked him to pay.
He brought out his birth certificate and
replied; Not for sale to persons below 18yrs

Sometimes you have to call Bae and say “don’t cook tonight we are having KFC”🍜🍚🍛. Then switch off your phone and come back the next day.

Convo between Rich and His Girlfriend

Girl: “Hi”😶
Rich: “hi babe”😊☺☺
Girl: “Babe I’m worried”😯
Girl: “I’ve missed my period”😨😨😨
Girl: “I think I’m pregnant”🙆
Girl: “are u there?”😦
Girl: “Babe u not answering my calls”😡
Girl: “Rich!!!”
Girl: “stop ignoring me, speak!!!”😭😭😭

[2 minutes later]

Rich: “The owner of this phone is dead just died in an accident, This Mr Lantjie”😡

Girl: “Don’t go there at all, this is your handwriting”😠

Rich: “No its not me, I’m really dead”

A Preacher said: “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river”. And the congregation cried,”Amen!” “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river”. And the congregation cried,”Amen!” “And if I had all the whiskey and rum in the world, I’d take it all and throw it in the river”. Again the congregation cried,”Amen!”
The preacher sat down. The deacon then stood up & said: “For our closing hymn, let’s turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing, ‘We shall drink from that river’.
THE CONGREGATION SCREAMED HALLELUJAH!!

A fat Teacher nd a Waves
Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
Waves: “Meat!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Waves: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Waves: “Homework!”

Other girls🤦 want friends so they can wear their clothes💯
& take selfies!

Wife asked: What are u doing?
Husband: Am Killing mosquitoes?
Wife: How many did u kill?
Husband: Total 5. Two females, 3 males.
Wife: How do u know their genders?
Husband: 2 were near my wallet and 3 near the beer bottle

just Imagine being a lesbian you wait the whole week
for your partner to finish her periods
When she finish you start yours

Me: 147895672077.
Girlfriend: Thanks for airtime baby.
Me: Its electricity, boil water and bath.