Dear Systems Analyst,

My name is nyaa I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn’t mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as “Boys’ Night out 2.5” and “soccer 5.3” no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected “Saturday pool 6.3” always fails and “Saturday Shopping 7.1” runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to “Girlfriend 7.0”, but uninstall doesn’t work on this program. Can you please help?
CONCERNED
Selibona Nyaa

…. AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:
Dear Mr Nyaa,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors’ Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the………
C: APOLOGIZE FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C: APOLOGIZE FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as “Flowers 2.0” and “Chocolates 5.0” or “HUGS KISSES 600.0” or “TENDERNESS UNDERSTANDING 1000.0″ or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1” (if Child processing has already started).

DO NOT under any circumstances install “Secretary 2.1” (Short Skirt Version) or “One Nightstand 3.2” (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.

BEST WISHES Nyaa!

Yours, Systems Analyst,

Him: “What’s your favourite Colour?”😊
•~•
Her: “Please stop asking me stupid questions, can’t you ask a more logical and matured question🤦? So childish!😕
•~•
Him: “Okay, How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralise 0.8 of sulphuric acid at STP?” 😒
•~•
Her: “My favourite colour is Pink, yours?

l got angry and sold my
Samsung
phone because it was
charging much
of my airtime and data.
I then went
and bought a China
phone but am
now in a very big
trouble
1. It gets full after 3
minutes of
charging
2. The phone has TV,
Touch screen,
Nail cutter, firelighter,remote control, 6 sim card
etc
3. Text messages can
be written
with a toothpick
4. It has some spelling
mistakes, it
is written NokLa
instead of Nokia
5. When an aeroplane
passes by it
records “one missed
call”.
6. When a big truck
hoots; it
records “charger
connected”
7. When a Chinese man
passes by
you it says “one
Bluetooth device
found”
It seems like my phone
is losing
mind!!!!!
Please, I want to sell
it,do u want
it?’

As long as you keep saying “When can i see you” Instead of
“Lets go out for lunch” we’ll forever say
“I’ll let u know when im free

Only black people go on a vacation and leave the lights on
just to confuse the neighbours.

When Your Boss Has No Chill 😂🤣

Charlie : ” Hello Boss !!! I will Be Unable To Come To Work Tomorrow. Due To Heavy Rains , I Live On Island Now 😭

Boss :”Charlie , In Your Job Application You Mentioned Swimming As Your Hobby. See You At Work @7:00am