Boy Was Driving To New York With His Girlfriend.
He Kept His Hand On Her Knee,
She Smiled & Said “You Can Go Further”
He Went To New Jersy

Q: Mummy, why do all the other kids call me a hairy werewolf?
A: Now stop talking about that and brush your face!

Client: Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence.

Me: You mean … the period?

Client: I don’t care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it.

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

Judge: “Where do you work?”

Defendant: “Here and there.”

Judge: “What do you do for 
a living?”

Defendant: “This and that.”

Judge: “Take him away.”

Defendant: “Wait; when will I get out?”

Judge: “Sooner or later.”

Success is like being pregnant everybody congratulates you,
But nobody knows how many times you got fucked to get there.

I’m So Alone That My Dark Circles Are Larger Than My Friend Circle..

Love is a long sweat dream &
marriage is an alarm clock..

Man ask a trainer in the gym:
“I want 2 impress that girl… ,
which machine can I use?”
Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”!

Every problem comes with solution,
but my GF don’t have.

WIFE & INSULT Are Somewhat Similar,
They Always Look Good,
IF IT IS NOT YOURS!….