Forget about electric shock , nothing shocks more than
touching your pocket and not feeling your phone.

A guy sends his girlfriend who lives in another town a
letter which reads:
” I am sorry, but I’m in love with a young, cute, beautiful, sexy,
adorable, intelligent and awesome lady,
so I want us to end our relationship.
Since I no longer love u , send back my photo”.
The girl sends him a reply in a return stamped
envelope containing 50 photos of different guys.
Her reply reads:.
“I don’t remember your face. So please select your photo and
send back the remaining ones, thanks”

Classy girls don’t have any tattoos Because no one can intentionally scratch a Benz or a private jet
If you have tattoos, you are probably a rubbish lorry or kombi

TYPICAL AFRICAN
1: When making a call their finger is always on
the
end button, ready to cut the call.
2: Always check the airtime balance after each
call.
3: After cooking they always put the used
cooking
oil back in the bottle or cup for future use.
4: Empty coffee tins are used for storing sugar
&
salt.
5: When they boil milk they add water to
increase
its volume,
6: Empty mazoe & soft drink bottles are used
for
storing water in the fridge.
7: No matter how cheap something is they will
always ask for the price to be reduced.
8: If the bus conductor forgets to collect the
bus
fare they will also keep quiet till they get off.
9: When they buy mineral water they will not
throw
away the empty bottle instead they will just
refill it
with tap water
10. when they withdraw cash on ATM, they
recount the
cash in order to verify it.
11. If they buy meat or something delicious
they put in a transparent bag yet when buy
vegetables they put
them in black bag and use short-cuts
Am I lying?
How many shares?

1. Why count your money infront of the ATM?
Will you return it
if it’s incorrect?
2. It amazes me that people are afraid to talk in
the exam
room when the question clearly said “Discuss”
3. Some girls are looking for tall guys with pink
lips and six packs when their fathers are short,
potbellied with
black protruding lips…..Can’t you be humble like
your mum?
4. If People Can Use “LOL” Without Even
Laughing, Surely
They can Use “I Love You” Without Even Loving
You.
5. You’ve been Engaged since 2010, till today
you’re still
ENGAGED. MY girl, you’re not LORD OF THE
RINGS.. please
return that “key holder”!
6. Why are babies in the womb for 9 months
and aren’t 9
months old when they are born?
7. Stupidity is when u have a Land Rover +
Land Cruiser and
still have a Land Lord, the landlord will surely
not allow you
to PARK your lands on His Land………..Wise
Up!

“In our neighbourhood there was a woman who used to steal a lot,she stole everything she came accross.
One day she got sick and went to the doctor,the doctor left her in his room for few minutes.as per her habits,she thought “What can i steal?”
Luckly there was meat on a tupperware on the table and she ate all of it,thinking it was BiltoN.
When the Doctor returned,he noticed that the tupperware was empty and asked her:”Didn’t u see the Foreskins of the boys I’ve just cut This Morning??

After taking photos, the photographer says to the school headmaster “these will cost $250”
*headmaster to teachers: “tell the pupils to bring $2 each for the photos”
*teachers to pupils: “tell yo parents that we want $5 for the photos”
*pupils to parents: “mummy,the teacher said
we shud take $10 for the school photos”
*mother to husband: “honey, these money hungry schools. ..imagine junior’s teacher told him to take $30 for the school photo”
.
.
.
And u think corruption will end???

When a girl says to you “do whatever you want”,
do not do whatever you want.
It’s a dare,not a permission

Rich people : “money doesn’t matter.”
Good looking people : “the look doesn’t matter.”
Society : everything matters

Somewhere In Mzansi Someone Is Busy
Pulling The Door That Says Push

True love is when you wear your
Girlfriend’s underwear to show other
girls that You are already taken.