Me: babe can u please come and ride me😐
Her: i don’t have a driver’s licence

Please.. remind me to remind you about reminding me to send you this reminder that reminds me of reminding you that you never have to remind me to remember you, I ALWAYS DO

Interviewer: I see yr cv u went to University Of South Africa.
Her: Yes, I was visiting my cousin!!

A way of separating with yr girlfriend b4 14 Febuary!!

If u found 8 missed calls just say “Stop making many calls you are killing my battery nd I can see you are capable of killing me”

Witchcraft is when your girlfriend starts arguing with a Bouncer in a Club…and ends up saying…”My boyfriend ain’t scared of you!!”

When they move from Europe to Africa =Voyages of discovery.
When we move from Africa to Europe =Illegal immigrants.
A group of Africans in Europe =Refugees.
A group of Europeans in Africa = Tourists .
A group of Africans in the bush = Poachers .
A Group of Europeans in bush = Hunters !
Black people working in a foreign country =Foreigners.
White people working in a foreign country=Expatriates!!

This world has failed Africa!

There Was A Party & The Host Was Getting Worried

Because There Were Too Many People And Not Enough Refreshments.

Host Wasn’t Sure If All Of Them Were Invited Or Not.

Then He Got An Idea.

He Turned To Guests & Said: “Will All Those From The Bride Side Of The Family Please Stand Up?”

About 20 People Stood.

Then He Asked: “And From Groom’s Side?”

About 25 More People Stood.

Then He Smiled & Said: “Will All Those Who Stood Please Leave, This Is A Birthday Party”

The More I Get To Know Certain People
The More I Realize Why Noah Only Let Animals Bored The Ark.

She posted ”I miss my Dead”
I commented ”Please don’t miss English classes”

I didn’t say you were a slut….I just implied that you don’t sleep in your own bed too often…

What if Jacob Zuma wants to
resign but can’t write
a resignation letter??.

With all due respect for the
LAWYERS

A lawyer who had a wife and 12 children needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to re-occupy the home.

He was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house.

When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.

He couldn’t say he had no children, because he couldn’t lie…. “WE ALL KNOW”…lawyers cannot and do not lie. (?????)

So he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.

He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.

He loved one of the homes and the price was right — the agent asked: “How many children do you have?

He answered: “Twelve.”

The agent asked “Where are the others?”

The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”

MORAL: It’s not necessary to lie. One only has to choose the right words… And don’t forget, unfortunately most politicians are lawyers.

Girlfriend : You’ve never smiled at me ever since we started dating, why?
Jonso: You said you want a serious relationship.

wife:Honey please on valentine don’t buy me anything I want you to show me your phone’s password.

The way female bankers explain account opening is so sexy…..
They will be like…..
I will open it for you so you can put something inside okay
Whether big or small just put something.