Girls be like:
”Harder… Harder, faster… Faster. But after
you guys break up, then you be like He used me”
🙄😯😮😶🤔
How my sister?

Two mad men decided that they have to attend school, so they collected old books and sat under a tree pretending that it was school.The following day, one got there early and climbed the tree. As the other came and saw his friend on top of the tree he asked: “What are you doing up there?”
The friend replied: “I’m in high school now!”

You know girls…You can never satisfy them because you can just rob a bank for her and she goes like:
“Why did you rob CAPITEC instead of FNB?”

Rich phoned📲 his boss but get the bosses’s wife instead😯
–
She answered the phone crying: “I’m afraid he died last week”😭
–
The next day Rich calls again asking for the boss…The wife answered: “I told u yesterday, he died last week”😠
–
The next day he calls again and once more he asks to speak to his boss😯
–
By this time the wife is extremely angry😠😠😠 and she shouts ” I’VE ALREADY TOLD U TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK!!! WHY DO U KEEP CALLING???”😟😓
–
Rich replied laughing: “I just love hearing it…I’ll call u back again tomorrow”💪👏

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years😷
–
Everytime they made love the husband [Rich] always insisted on turning off the light🔦
–
Well after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figure she would break him out of this crazy idea😯
–
So one night while they were still in the section she turned on the light🙊🙉😨🔦
–
She looked own amd saw that Rich was holding a battery-operated pleasure device, A VIBRATOR!!! Soft, Wonderful and large. She went completely ballistic!!!😠
–
The wife with extreme anger said ” you impotent pig, how could u be lying to me after all these years!! You better explain yourself”😠
–
Rich looked at her straight in the eyes and said calmly: “I’ll Explain the toy, you explain the kids”

Teacher : “Ronnie why are you late?”
–
Ronnie : “I didn’t have my shoes”
–
Teacher : “what?? Are you stupid? Where were they?”
–
Ronnie : “I’m not stupid, one shoe was in my dad’s hand and the other one was in my mom’s hand and they were beating each other.

Psychiatrist: What do you do when you feel stressed?
Patient: I go to nearest Temple
Psychiatrist: Good, prayer and meditation are effective tools to reduce stress
Patient: No no no, I just mix-up all the shoes out there and watch people searching… Feels awesome.

Tebza :Hello, I would like to order some guns please.
Gunsmith :Some what? (The line is bad)
Tebza :Guns(Getting louder)
Gunsmith :Sorry, I can hardly hear, please repeat
Tebza :(Screaming )GUNS!!! G for Jeep, U for Europe, N for knowledge and S for Eskom, GUNS u stupid fool!!!

Hey, if u are reading this and u are feeling depressed, angry, sad, heartbroken etc…
I just want to tell u that I don’t care!!
Thanks!

All say that love is more important than money..
Have you ever tried paying your bill with a hug.. ?

When she thought you are romantic by helping her
while cooking kant he is making sure u dnt waste his braaipack

Witchcraft is when yr manhood decide to
erect in a class for no reason and
your teacher comes in and point you
to stand up and clean the board!!!

Boy: It’s only six days to go.
Girl: Yeahhhhh!!! nd mmmmmh I can’t wait for that day.
Boy: Me too babe nd I just hope Liverpool beats FC Porto.
Girl: Tsek ….inja what about Valentine.

Nyaa gambled with all his university money at the casino before even the end of the first term ,

He calls his father at home. “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing into! They actually have a program here in school that will teach our dog, phezukwakhe, how to talk!”

“That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Phezukwakhe (the dog) into the program?”

Nyaa smiling said, “Just send him down here with R15 000. “I’ll get him into the course dad.”

So, his father sends the dog and R15000. About two weeks to the end of the first term, Nyaa gambled and ran out of money again

His father called
“So how’s Phezukwakhe doing son?” his father asks.

“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this, they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”

“Read!?” says his father, “No kidding! I’ll love Phekwakhe to read too!”

Nyaa smiling said, “That will be no problem dad. Just send R40000, I’ll get him into the class.”

The money promptly arrives. But Nyaa then had a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.

So he killed the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

“Where’s Phezukwakhe? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”

“Dad,” Nyaa says, “I have bad news. Yesterday morning, just before we wanted to drive home, Phezukwakhe was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading a Newspaper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, “So, is your daddy still sleeping around with that woman who lives in town?”

The father exclaimed, “I hope you killed that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!

I have a proposal:
In 2018 when its time to kiss the bride at weddings, all men must make a queue to kiss her.
People should learn to share…

Apparently there are disagreements of Zuma’s retirement package. They offered him $800,000 but he refused saying that he wants something with a million in it.
So they said how about half a million? He agreed!!