During church service, this 16-year old pastor’s daughter stood up and said: “Praise the Lord!” Everybody shouted with joy: “Hallelujah!!”. She continued:
“Since the age of 13, I’ve been experiencing painful monthly periods. But now, after a series of Bible studies and prayers with brother Solomon in his house, my monthly periods have stopped for more than 3 months now. No more pain, no more menstruation. You can see I’m even getting fatter and prettier. We are starting to pray seriously about the small problem of vomiting, especially in the morning. Praise the Lord”.
The whole church was silent… and
Brother Solomon fainted!!!

A couple had a quarrel one evening. When it was time to sleep, the man lay on the floor while the lady slept on the bed. Later into the night, the husband had an erection, he then held his small man and said “you better sleep, didn’t you see that I quarreled with her?”

The lady replied:

“don’t involve everybody in our quarrels, the case is between you and I, don’t involve him. Allow him to come and play with his friend”

If children of israel were like girls of today
while crossing the red sea, they would have
spent the whole day in the middle of the sea
taking pictures and uploading on facebook, twitter, Instagram and all types of social networks with posts/status like:
1. Chilling with Moses
2. Miracle things on point .
3. Me and Moses before crossing the sea.
4. Can’t wait to see the promised land
5. Pharaoh dololo can’t catch us.
6. Eee what a Fish 😍
7. Finally we have won the battle
8. Tholukuthi Moze is our chief 😜😜😜
9. Moses the coolest nigger

Boknoy caught boknoy sleeping in the middle of his class.
Teacher: Boknoy! (shout)
Boknoy: (awakened) ah yes, ma’am?
Teacher: why are you sleeping?
Boknoy: Ah, eh. Because Ma’am.
Teacher: because what?
Boknoy: your voice is very delicious, ma’am. You are like an angel to go down to heaven to sing us. That’s why I fell asleep.
Teacher: so why others don’t sleep?
Boknoy: because they are not listening to you, ma’am.

A man gets home early from work and hears strange
noise coming from the bedroom, he rushes upstairs only
to find his wife naked on the bed sweating and panting.
“What’s up” he asked” I am having a heart attack” the
woman cries. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for
an ambulance, but just as he’s dialing, his 4yr old son
comes up and says;”Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Fred is hiding
in your closet and he’s got no clothes on. The man slams
the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom
past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe
door, sure enough, there is his brother totally naked on
the closet floor. “You idiot!” the man says, “my wife is
having a heart attack and you are running around naked
scaring the kids. Come on dress up we need to take her
to the hospital”. Describe the husband in one word

Laughter is the best Medicine”
An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 wifes.
A- Monopoly should be broken.
B- Competition improves the quality of service.
If u have 1 wife, She fights with u!
If u have 2 wifes, They will fight for u!

Her : Baby Is Too Cold And I Didn’t Wear My Jacket
Me : Sorry Babe But At Least You Are Wearing A Make Up 😕

But i Can’t Laugh…

Pictures with bras and panties are not nudes…
I can go to the beach to see that

Some girls are really Childish and immature..

Rich: Hi😀
–
Her: sorry I don’t date broke guys😕
–
Rich: I don’t want to date you😆.. I only wanted to to tell you that I saw u on tv today😐
–
Her: owww😊☺😊 really?😹 which channel?😛
–
Rich: Animal channel😯😒
–
Boom I was blocked

Dad : “son i just want to let u know that u were adopted”
Ronnie : “hahaha you are kidding, really?”
Dad : “yes, pack your things they are coming to fetch u”

A little boy Rich came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma; Where’s mom and dad?😯
–
She replied; They are up in bed.
Rich started to giggle😁 ate his breakfast and went out to play.
–
He came back in for lunch and asked his grandma; Where’s mom and dad😀
–
She replied; They are still up in bed😧
–
Rich started to giggle😆 ate his lunch and went out to play💃
–
He came in for dinner and asked his grandma; Where’s mom and dad?😮
–
The grandmother replied; They are still up in bed.
Rich started laughing😂
–
The grandmother asked; Rich what is going on?😐 Why is it that every time I tell you they are still up in bed, you will start laughing!😑
–
Rich replied; Last night daddy came into my room and asked me for vaseline and I gave him super glue😕
One word for Rich

Bambi:hey doctor, I really need to do a plastic surgery.
Doctor: why
Bambi:am ugly
Doctor: you are not ugly
Bambi:everyone say am ugly
Bambi:no you not ,you are fine and strong looking man
Bambi:am a woman
Doctor: you really need it