Dating a soldier mare its another problem..
Girl : Bae can i come over?
Guy : Negative madam….Maybe tomorrow i repeat maybe tomorrow…!!! Do you copy?
.

A grade 2 kid was coming from school he entered the taxi and he started singing “if my father was a King my mother will be a Queen and I’ll be a Prince”
The taxi driver silenced the kid but the kid continued “if my father was the President my mother will be the First Lady and I’ll be the First Son”
then with anger the taxi driver asked the kid “what if your father was a robber what will your mother be and what will you be”
and the boy said “if my father was a robber my mother will be a prostitute and I’ll be a taxi driver!!!!!!?

When a girl tells you I’m not ready to date,
she is simply saying I don’t like you in a polite way.

My sister stop asking guys what they do
for a living, they will lie, just take them to
bed and count how many round they can
go
1 round – rich guy
2 rounds – doing well in life
3rounds – unemployed
4rounds – broke as hell
Don’t be deceived by there looks

Colleagues Bill,Jim and Scott are attending a convention together and staying in a Hotel suit on the top of a 75-storey skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they’re shocked to hear the lifts in their hotel are out of order and that they have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill says to Jim and Scott ”lets break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concestrating on something intresting i’ll tell jokes for 25 storeys,Jim can sing songs for 25 and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stops telling jokes and Bill begins to sing. At 51th floor Jim stops singing and Scott begins to tell sad stories ”I’LL TELL MY SADDEST STORY FIRST” I LEFT OUR ROOM KEY AT THE RECEPTION

Prophecies for 2018
If any of these prophecies does not come to pass before the end of the year, then I am not a man of God.

1. There shall be 28 days in the month of February.
2. Any car with an empty tank shall be immobile.
3. If you don’t have any money in your account, you won’t be able to withdraw.
4. Tell any candidate that misses their exams that they won’t have any result.
5. Every woman delivered of just a baby shall have either a boy or a girl.
6. If you don’t subscribe you won’t be able to watch your cable TV.
7. The volume of your urine shall be a function of your water intake.
8. The moment you eat this year, your hunger shall disappear.
9. A new president shall be sworn in in the US.
10. Nollywood shall produce hundreds of meaningless movies this year.
11. There shall be different reactions/responses to these prophetic declarations.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I repeat, if these prophecies do not come to pass, then I am not a man of God!

Anytime you see a girl shaking her buttocks while walking,just know she is going to her boyfriend’s place. How did i know?
because it’s written on syrup bottles:”shake well before use”

I was invited to a wedding, when i reached the hotel i found two doors written
*1 . bride relatives*
*2. Groom relatives*
I entered the one written groom relatives and found two more doors
*1 . ladies*
*2. men*
I went through the one for men only to find two more doors
*1 . people with gifts*
*2. people without gift*
I went through the one one written people without gifts and found myself outside the hotel through the back door at the door it was written
*_”So in this time of hard economy you want to just come, eat and drink without any gift, no way”_*
Don’t laugh please share 😂😂😂😂

if you meet a woman that admits when she’s wrong and apologizes… 🙅🏻‍♀️
dump her that might be a man, women don’t do that