I’ve got a couple of goldfish as pets. I call them one and two.
That way if one dies I’ve still got two

Arguing with a woman it’s like wrestling with a pig in mud.
After an hour you realise the pig likes it

The judge says to a double murder defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!”
The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with the same hammer.”
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, “You ROTTEN bastard!”
The judge stops and says to the man in the back of the courtroom. “Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”
The man stands up and says, “I’m sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that arsehole, and every time I asked if I could borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one”.

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Me: I’d rather not, I really need this job!

Speaking on behalf of all girls!
Boys stop giving us your money
we’re not your kids😾
We only care about what’s in the trouser.

By the way Orlando Pirates last beat The Glamour Boys in the year 1BC!!!
😝😝😝😝

BC = Before Corona

Her clothes may look nice & stunning, but her panties might have holes..!

‘PAIN’ is when your Ex is happy in a new relationship,
but you are still single..!

He dumped you after 8 years? But why date somebody for that long?

By the time COVID19 is ending,
most of you will forget how to draw your eyebrows..! ☝😏

I’m always hungry these days 3 minutes after eating..!

My sister, When You Wanna Slam His Bedroom Door🚪
Soo Bad But Then It’s A Curtain..! ☝

If You Listen👂Closely To A XHOSA Lady Laughing😂,
You’ll Hear “I just want your money”🤦 in-between her laughter..!

In my family, smiling while typing on your phone📲 means that you’re in a Relationship..

If she randomly stop texting you, she got back with her boyfriend.
Move on village boy,
she didn’t even like you..!

The moment you tell a lady that you love her,she becomes cashless, foodless,rentless and all other forms of lessness.